The Iceball Says....

The back passage club

2010-12-21T03:32:00.000-08:00

Patients are often the butt ( literally) of , or should i say, the receiving end of ( very literally again I must add) digital rectal examinations. It’s a terribly unfortunate examination I must say. Used to aid doctors in their diagnosis of confirming gastrointestintal tract bleeding, enlarge or cancerous prostate glands, or spinal cord injury, this rather uncomfortable examination involved as the textbook answer an OSCES exam would describe :

“ the patient lying on his side with his pants pulled down. Knees should be bent and lifted towards the chest. The doctor should have one hand gloved with adequate lubrication gel on the examining finger. Gently place the finger at the anal opening and warn the patient to expect some discomfort. Feel the tip of the coccyx and then turn the finger around anteriorly to palpate the prostate and the median sulcus of the prostate gland. When done, withdraw the finger and wipe excess lubricant gel”

In other words... if you want to cut the crap, here’s the abbrievated, politically incorrect version.
“I’m gonna stick up gloved finger up your arse.. ALL the way UP your arse”
One had to provide adequate explaination of the procedure before commencing the examination and had to be sensitive towards the patient.
Needless to say, because it was such an uncomfortable procedure, we didnt’ get much exposure to real bums as a student. We practised on rubber bums and rubber prostates, giggling as we jammed our index fingers up the little black holes and feeling the fake prostates that our classmates inserted on the other end.
The most exposure I had as a student was during urology clinic, when the rather old school urologist just seized my hand and stuck my finger up the patients bums immediately after his finger had finished examining the offending protate glands with nary a hint of the venerated informed consent spiel we thought we had to give. Nope, not even the abrievated version of the informed consent was presented. Surgeons would tell us that there was only one and ONLY one excuse why you couldn’t perform a DRE ---- if you had no finger.
Suddenly we were thrown into internship, where DREs became a responsibility not a novelty. Many a doctor went on their ways ( sometimes with extraordinary measures) to avoid giving the patient the golden finger. We as interns, and the bottom of the rung, often landed up with the very un-coveted job. In the beginning, i never knew what the hell I was feeling for. I could never reach the prostate gland’s superior pole cause my fingers ( like the rest of my body) was rather vertically challenged. So many a tumour and prostate adenoma would have escaped my diagnosing skills. Geriatric medicine ( my first rotation) was full of bums awaiting the finger. Faecal loading and PR bleeds and urinary retention were the mainstay of problems and I found myself often facing the butt cheeks of my elderly patients who were struggling to stay on their sides while I performed the unfortunate examination. One of my earliest memories was sticking my finger up a lady’s butt while the smell of freshly passed poo wafted up from her diapers. I prayed that my hair didn’t sweep up any of it as I bent sideways to access the back passage with my finger.
Sometimes you had to hold back the gigantic butt cheeks of some overweight patients into order to locate It’s Holiness to place your finger in the right place. I even had the displeasure of dis-impacting ( ie, digging the shit out) with my finger for one very constipated patient on my first day at work in the emergency department. I was told that I was quite deserving of the title “the shit magnet”.

and one year later

2010-12-06T03:36:00.000-08:00

It's been almost a year since i've blogged anything.

choices... it's always so difficult to make them. Whether it be career wise, where to live, housing, cars...
I feel pretty lost sometimes, just drifting from place to place, wondering if the next step i take is the one in the right direction.

I've left the place I spent 4 years of life and moved out into Boxhill, 40 min from melbourne city. I miss my old place already. I miss my room which overlooked the Flagstaff gardens. Standing in my old room with a rag in my hand as I cleaned up before the last housing inspection, I felt as though my one sancturary in melbourne had been just taken from me and scattered out in the open. That room held many memories for me.. from the trials and tribulations of semester 8, to the numeoruos OSCE practises me, N, WY and J9 spent there in sem 12, to all the times I spent talking to my dear family on skype, to the songs I wrote and sang on my guitar and the desk where I spent many hours poring over my medical books pre -exams. And then there were the memories of the rough months of internship, where I curled up on the bed and cried, to the sweet memories where my bf first took my hand. I miss my old housemate A, who has been as close as a sister since medical school and my working years. I felt like crying after I dropped A off at her new place and as I drove to my new accomodation in Boxhill.

Sigh, i think i'm too emo at times. Gotta let go and move on. So many things that will be unfamiliar next year. Leaving my parent hospital, moving to a new one. Leaving physicians training, trying out emergency ( tho' everyone thinks i'm crazy)

We'll see what next year brings

packing that extra punch

2010-04-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

I was walking back with the secuirity guard after my late night shift. A plump,middle age, pint sized lady with a jolly smile and a lovely personality, she hardly seemed like the candidate for the role of a person who would instill fear in the many drunkards that showed up in the ED on weekend nights. I thought back to the beefy secuirity personale in my main hospital in the city who were ridden with bulging biceps and tatooes to match.

SHe was chattering cheerfully about how she had accompany nursing staff to their cars which were parked far away from teh hospital grounds at night.

" Isn't it dangerous for you to walk back by yourself?" i mused out loud.

" Nah, " she grinned. " Coz no one would wanna attack us, we're not health care personale!"

But really?

" did you take a course in self defence?" I asked.

" Nope, my experience comes from being invovled in the worst pub brawls for the last 20 years." she declared proudly.

Pub brawls?

"Yup, I know where to hit 'em where it hurts!" she bashed her fists togther.

" Just under the sternum, " she swung her hand to demonstrate. " Takes their breath right away, and you'll have them down and out for enough time to call the coppers"
" you can take them just at the bladder as well," she carried on brightly, a sparkle in her eyes. " makes them wet themselves"

What if they try hitting you?

" I move pretty fast. Usually I drop 3-4 inch to steady myself and they swing and miss, " she bent both knees. " and at that height i'll start taking them out there. " she did a mock punch.

Okaaaay. Don't mess with her siah...
she may not be the SVh beefcakes aka arnold schzw clones, but she certainly knows what she's doing.

bow and arrow

2010-04-07T06:48:00.001-07:00

I was brought up in a school environment where our motto was " if guys can do it, we can do it better." RGS girls are pretty notorious for being rather tom-boyish and not afraid to vy with our male counterparts for the crowns in various aspects of our secondary school education. As highlighted in one very touchy newspaper article written by no-other then an RGS girl herself, RGS girls are often seen as go-getters who " cheered like cave men during sports events and probably would end up single for the rest of their lives."

I got into a good natured debate this morning with my better half. His opinion was that if a girl could " do it all" , then they were more likely not to find a partner just because the poor guy would be nothing but a trophy husband. His reasoning was that finding a partner was like a bow going together with an arrow, ie, you needed to be able to work towards a common goal together, instead of one half doing it all and leaving no room for further development and growth as a couple.

I pointed out that it may have to do with the male ego and the laws of natural selection. ie... in the past, guys had to demonstrate that they could provide for the family before they were handpicked as being a worthy mate. so there's a natural drive that the guy has to prove that he is "worthy"

To a certain extent, I do grudgingly agree with his concept. A relationship that works is one that allows both people to grow and learn together. However, there is a fine line between working together and compromising on one's independence and ability to tackle difficulties as an individual w/o over-reliance on one's partner. And it shoudln't come to a point where we end up suppressing our drive and personality just to appease the unfairer sex. So where do we draw the line?

Being in a r/ship is about giving, or like Ajahn Brahm says: about loving unconditionally. It's probably not so much about feeling needed, but more like wanting to do things for your other half just because you want to make things easier or better for them.

Well, as much as the bow and arrow concept may stand, I still think my notion of the need for male superiority still holds its own as well, as so nicely summed up by another acquiantence ( who has a Y chromosome) . " We guys like to feel needed. We like being used. " he quipped. I don't think us females have any issues with being occasional pampered pooches and damels in distress, as long as we still retain our skill to work and problem solve independently.

So the long and short answer? I don't really have a conclusion. I think it's middle ground. We've gotta have the drive to achieve whatever we know we are capable of achieving, but not to go overboard. Because I guess pushing yourself to the absolute , crazy limit may not be the best thing or compatible with a nice healthy stress-free lifestyle. Live some room for that dude to intervene and take some of the load off you.. esp if he's more than happy to do it!
Now.... how do I go about changing the tyres of my car??? * looks around for ef*

end of internship

2010-01-08T04:02:00.000-08:00

it feels more " bleah" then " yay!"
at the dinner yestersday i think everyone was too tired to party late into teh night. half the crowd left by 11pm. our senior med reg was racing aroudn the room like a drunk road runner snapping photos with everyone after camera knapping someone's poor camera. she then proceeding to untie the ribbon round the chair and draped it aroudn herself and paraded through the room. hmmmm..
my feet were getting chewed up by the stilts ( not high heels) that i had been forced to wear by my girlfriends coz they refused to see me slip into my trusty flats . it's amazing i actually got up the stairs minus any mishaps.. i guess even if i did take a tumble down 3 flights , i coudln't be in a better place to have an accident , surrounded by doctors.
now back to spore in a few days..

what i've been up to.

2009-11-02T04:31:00.000-08:00

Because ppl have been complaining that i've not updated in eons..( bleah, no time siah, gen med is just killing me through and through)... tada. here's some token photos and captions.

Preeeettty tulips that Ef got me for my bday. :P very distracting. I"m a newly converted flower person.. Preeety Pink Tulips!

Ef and me at the Braissere at Crown. Photo taken moments before we did the amazing race ( dash) to his car and attempted to get to the show Chicago in less than 1/2 hour. Needless to say, i had to beat a few red lights and do this incredibly unglamourous dash on high heels to the theatre. To the cut the long story short, we were still late. LOL. Thankfully, we were only left out for 10 minutes and not until the intermission.

Birthday weekend.. ef planned a trip to mornington. It was great..SUch a relief to get out of the city and just kick back and relax. i never realised that Victoria actually had such beautiful places. Shows just how much i've travlled around victoria in my 7 years here in melbourne.

We set off realy early for mornington hot springs.. quite an interesting experience. The crowd who were patronising the place were quite varied. THere were the families with their young kids in tow, gaggles of teenage to young adult girls, elderly folk and young couples like ourselves. . We started off in the 38 deg pool, which was comfortably warm, and the moved around the various hot springs, each boasting increasingly warm temperatures.. I was wondering why ppl were sitting ardn the 42 deg pool and not in it. It was until i dipped my foot in that i understood why. Ouch. definitely not a pool you'd wanna cannonball into. unless you had a death wish of becoming quite nice and toasted. DIdn't take photos coz i 'd to leave my camera in the locker room.

We then drove along and stopped at teh strawberry farm where we picked our own strawberries. gosh, the last time i went to sunnyridge was in year 2 with aiai, lz and nic! ages ago! I was dreaming abt the homemade icecream ( smth i've been craving for since year 2) mmmm... We then drove on towards Rye. The beach at Rye was gorgeous. We had fish and chips by the sea ( while been eyeballed by a huge flock of hungry seagulls, one which contemptiously shit on my left foot coz we didn't feed them). The sea was just a brilliant aqua colour. i was so tempted to jump in. If only the weather wasn't that cold.

We then check out our accomodation, ( see above) this realy rustic cottage settled next to a backpacker's accomodation. It was awesome. Had DVD player , bbq pit and all, and was a stones throw away from teh beach.

We then beach hopped.. went to sorrento and had the famous vanilla slice while lounging by the beach ( watched.. as usual by teh omnipresent sea gulls)

Then went to another beach which had magnificent cliffs and was deliciously unspoilt by touristy features. It was freezing tho'..

The next day, we had breakie in sorrento, then took the ferry to Geelong and drove home from there. It was lovely.. thanks dear for the bday prezzie.. had a great time!

One of the beaches around sorrento. It was gorgeous..

Growing up, growing old

2009-08-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

We were at Buddhi and Ishi's place having coffee after dinner. Buddhi and Ef sat on the couch chatting about work and rugby, while I joined Ishi at the table to look through her wedding album. As I watched Ishi serve the guys tea, I couldn't shake a nagging feeling of deja vu that this was a scene I was so familiar with when I was a kid: My dad sitting at one side with his friends talking about work whilst my mom lounged in another corner of hall with the ladies chit chatting about their children. Though the scene was comforting in some ways, it was rather disconcerting to realise that I was no longer seeing it through the eyes of a child.
I wasn't the only one feeling that the whole gathering was somewhat surreal, for when Ef and me left the house for his car, he turned to me and asked, " Was it just me, or did that feel really weird?"

I still feel like a teenager at times, bemused and uncertain of where I'm heading to. And yet the whole world seems to have failed to wait for me to stop and ponder.
As I filled in the copious number of forms for my PR application here, I looked back at the years i've spent away from home and it amazed me how time had flown by. Six years ago, i was the spoilt girl who'd never been away from her family before. Six years on,, I am now a medical doctor, staying by myself, supporting myself independently, planning holidays and ploughing through the alien world of PR application and tax returns. Once where conversation topics revolved around friends, boys and exams, these conversations now turn to finance and work politics, marriage and kids. Friends were getting married, buying houses and starting families.
I feel as though I've just been trust from the role of a kid into the role of an adult, a role which I'm not sure I'm ready to fill. ALthough I know that my experiences have changed me and moulded me somewhat into a hopefully more mature individual, I still feel like the teenager who left home for the first time in 2003 in more ways then one.

Oh what a night...

2009-08-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

Went to watch Jersey boys with Ef on Tuesday..

It was good! well, save for the stupid fact that silly me forgot to print out our tickets :S. and we were late. Heng siah they gave us a lost ticket pass.
THe singer playign Frankie valli was SOoooooooo good! omg.. i could just melt by the sound of his voice, esp when he hit the high notes. I realise i really like the oldies. probably an influence from my dad :).
hmmm... contemplating buying the soundtrack now. eek.

dad: you should watch the musical when you drop by in the next few months.

next target : Chicago.. i'was already eyeing the sign board on the way back. the good thing about melb is we have one musical after another.. the bad thing is our craze for musicals is gonna bankrupt us one day i swear.

2 more days and i'll be back in sunny spore! I was looking at my diary and it looked hilariously packed already. urgh. it's a running joke between ef and I that we don't have to plan anything on our offdays because they just end up squashed up with things to do, at the moment mostly paperwork * sigh*

Men are like....

2009-07-13T00:12:00.000-07:00

I was so tickled by this email i got from BY.

Men are like....
'1. Men are like ...Laxatives... They irritate the crap out of you
.2. Men are like ...Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ...Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ...Blenders... You need One, but you're not quite sure why
.5. Men are like ...Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually headright for your hips
.6. Men are like ...Commercials... You can't believe a word they say..
7. Men are like ...Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like ...Government Bonds... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ...Mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion
.10. Men are like ...Popcorn... They satisfy you, but only for a littlewhile.
11. Men are like ...Snowstorms... You never know when they're coming, howmany inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ...Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ...Parking Spots... All the good ones are taken, the restare handicapped.

tassie 2009

2009-06-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

I know i should be doing more impt things like job applications and tax but i can't give a crap.. dang.. i'm so naughty. sigh.
anyway. here's the pix from my recent trip to tazzzie. it's a bit not-in-order.

cradle mountain
Day 1: we took the spirit of tazzie ( cruise ship). Ef picked me up after work. I was stuck in ED till the eleventh hour so it was practically grab bags and run helter skelter for the car. The ship was really nice! konked out till next morning.. then we drove up to cradle mountain from Devonport where it was docked. It was raaaaining! :(. so we ended up having breakie then we took a hike around cradle mountain. but the mountain was covered in cloud. Boo ! but nontheless it was a nice hike around. about 2.5 hours i think. We then drove down to launceston.

St kilda's
day 5: sorry, not in order. this was when we returned to Melbourne. Had breakie at St kilda's on this cafe on the pier. didn't realise st kild'as is actually quite pretty in the morning .

our cabin on the Spirit of Tasmania

day 4 : cataract gorge.

We drove from Coles bay back to launceston on day 4. Stopped by choc factory/ raspberry farm on the way. Cataract gorge wasn't that impressive. we ambled around for an hour b4 heading up to devonport to depart.

Efrant taking some random pix of me driving.

day 4

Sleepy beach - just b4 departing coles bay, we stopped by sleepy beach. zzzzz

day 3

Honeymooner's beach
this was my favourite part of the trip. On day 3, we drove down from St Helen's. dropped by bichano Bay. THen we drove to Freycinet national park. On the way back from the park, we stopped by Honey mooner's beach as advised by the info counter ppz who told us that the place was gorgeous in the sunset. Too bad the camera can't really do it justice but it was really beautiful .

wineglassbay

in the national park, we hiked about an hour plus to get up to see the view of wine glass bay BUT... there was so much mist!!! it was like..

Alamak.. where got view?? the tourist up there told us that if we had arrived 10 min prior, the view was reasonable. AAARRGGH!

SO , we decided, fine, since got no view then we'll head down to teh beach.

After a 45 minute climb down the steep rocky steps we were about to turn back coz it was getting late, then we saw this 2 aunties coming down and powering on. So we decided.. if aunties can do it, so can we! Followed them down to wineglass bay. :) haha! that's us at the bottom. the climb back up was ... needless to say very breathtaking.

Hiking up at frecyinet national park. Argh.. still got so much mist!

Day 3

Oysters!!! - i konked off in the car. the next thing i knew, ef was pulling by this place by the road side.. Super duper fresh oysters! it's like you just put the money in teh box and help yourself to oysters in the fridge. We ended up chatting to 2 fellow travellers whom we met in bichano bay who were also passing by.

Binalong bay

Eating pancakes at Pancakes on mount elephant. That place really in the middle of nowhere. but it was worth hunting for! Coz it's parked right smack in the midst of the winding mountain road. And we were driving to thick mist as well which made it pretty intimidating.

day 3

dining at St Helens. So xian, we had this fantastic place at Queechy cottages but we forgot to take pix!!!the accomodation was just great!

day 2 : we stopped by the bay of fires while driving from launceston to St Helens. It was like this end of the road thingy.. got no -proper tourist path so we kinda stood there scratching our heads wondering where we were supposed to be walking. in the end we trekked down to the beach. it looks pretty cool in teh pix.

day 4

driving back to Devonport. the scenery was so pretty!!! the country side against the clear blue sky! too bad can't realy capture it on video.

it was an awesome trip!

back to work .. and back to nights at ED . so i'll be disappearing for a while.. dang.

call cardiac.

2009-05-25T03:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired... 2 weekends on cover. Even if it was one day per weekend still takes a lot out of me.
First cover on saturday was just traumatic. to say the least. can't really put the detail out here tho'. but i was so traumatised i cldn't sleep till 3am. and that was with antihistamines on board. it took a mammoth effort to get to the Vesak day talk. ( Thank goodne ss i went. it was an excellent talk by Ajahn Brahm. many thanks to Ef for dragging me out of bed and sending me there, otherwise i wld have still been comatosed in bed .

yesterday's cover not as bad as saturday. but i was so stressed out the previous week i kept having nightmares and kept waking up in cold sweat. stupid lah. sometimes i juz scare myself shitless for nothing. Was quite tiring, a couple of sickies on the ward, but manageable. And i was super touched when i came home and found my room all cleaned up ,a box of chocs on my bed, and a choc crossiant for breakie in the fridge. :) lucky me.

haphazard update of my life

2009-05-21T02:54:00.000-07:00

okok. i know i've not updated for eons.. paiseh. got no time. to update so i'm juz gonna chuck in photos and brief notes of what i've been upto .sorry if this post doesn't make sense. i'm just writing it in a hurry
amy's new RED BEETLE!!! OMG.. it's damn hot and damn cute :). WE all went to Raffles place for lunch and she made the grand late entrance with 2 drive passes :. super cool car. comes with a flower in front too!

Took a day trip during easter to wilson's prom. Took a while to get out of melbourne coz someone insisted that instinct was more reliable than melways.. ahem. anyway, we got there in the end. We went to the squeaky beach ( the sand squeaks when you step on it. )then we 'treked" to another beach and sat there and just stoned with junk food.

climbing to the top of the rock

loved this cafe too.. on route to wilson's prom. it's called the flying cow cafe. I wanted to take that poster of that cow home.. I love these quaint cafes in melbourne. It's so hard to find places like that in spore. They've such a unique flavour.

other things i did: paiseh got no photos

-caught the train to Ballarat to watch Ef play rugby. Haven't been out to country victoria for ages. I was pleasently surprised by the gorgeous scenary on route there. THe scenary when i went to wangeretta was terrible. Ef bravely let me drive his car in Ballarat. didn't dare to drive the long road back to melbourne tho'.

-went to lentil as anything. finaaly!!! after 4 years of wanting to go and never being able to locate the place ( or rather, being too lazy to locate it).this is a really cool restaurant where the profit goes helping refugees. and you kinda pay as much as you like.

-watched Xmen.. hugh jackman. .mmm YUM.

-Vesak day at BSV ! - Ajahn Brahm came down! i was late coz cldn't get up on time.. i had one nightmare of a saturday cover( which left me so traumatised i could only fall asleep at 3am after i knocked off at 11pm). but the talk was good! and i met one classmate at the BSV. was quite surprised to see him there. didn't know he was a Buddhist.

pJ came back to melbourne.. We went to MART 130. it's like tram stop spelled backwards. The french toast was really yum. too lazy to go photograph the food .

sigh .. working this sunday again. if it's anything like saturday's cover shift.. i think i'll go bury my head in the ground. *groan*.

farewell Lap Pek

2009-04-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

Lap Pek passed away peacefully in his sleep, after an almost 5 over year battle with nasophargyngeal cancer. I will always admire his strength and resolve in coping with the numerous obstacles that have come up in the last few years. I can't believe I won't get to see him again...

Good bye Lap Pek,
we'll miss you dearly...

hiatus ( and no.. i'm not talking about a hernia)

2009-02-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

figured i will shut this blog down for the moment coz life's pretty much revolving around work these days and i can't put a lot out on a public domain given the nature of my job.

thanks for reading ppz :) will revive it if i've the time and the chance.

Billy elliot....

2009-02-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

I think i'm losing touch with my humanity.. and the thing that frightens me is the lack of guilt in realising that. exhaustion seems to lull you into a state of automation, where the goal is self-preservation, and the drive to continue self-education and the caring, considerate medico just fades into oblivion. My temper is as frayed as a worn rope, and it's a battle everyday not to snap and yell at everyone around me, and i fear i'll lose that fight anytime and dig myself a hole that i won't be able to climb out of.

Woke up to a blazing 47 degrees day today. I was lightheaded with the heat by the time i stumbled into Her Majesty's theatre on exhibition street and awaiting Ave and Eff's arrival. Billy Elliot was a wonderful musical. The performers were just so rife with energy, something i so craved for at this point of time. The music was lovely and the singing was so soothing to my ears, such a change from the moans and groans floating from the demented/ delirious patients that besieged my cochlear during the week. I chuckled at the character of Billy's demented grandmother. If only all demented patients were like that, and could sing and dance as well as she could. Gomers... all of them. It was like a page out of the House of God. Gomers were everywhere. Even when your pager was safely tucked in a drawer of the doctor's work room, they still managed to worm their way into your mind. I was so tired i had to close my eyes a few times during the show. the heat wasn't helping much and the air con was juz utterly hopeless. But even with that , I still found the show wonderfully moving and touching. I was grateful to be able to juz sink back into the comforting world of music.

I really admired the boy playing the lead. Even after an exhausting 3 hours of dancing and singing, he still danced with the same energy and passion. During one of the pieces when he was denied the chance to pursue his dreams, you could just feel the frustration and anger electrify the air as he excecuted the choreography with a grace and poise far beyond his 12-13 years.
the musical cleverly wove in issues about class/ politics/ gay and lesbian rights/ pursuing a career in the arts. only thing i cld complain about was my terrible ability to grasp accents. had to ask Eff to explain some British slangs and jokes here and there.

this is my favourite song in the musical. when Billy was asked how he felt when he danced. This is the original Elton John version from teh movie. THe one below has the 3 kids who play billy elliot singing with him .. very impressive dancing at the end

i love this song, totally moved me to tears..

this one is hilarious :).. the demented grandmother. loved it.. laughed like anything

Totally worth my 100 bux manz... :D. happy

We that adjourned for bubble tea, trying to out of the stifling heat. argh.. thankfully by dinner time, it had cooled down. and we had italian food sitting by the streets, watching people walk past, debriefing and bitching about life.
Even after we decided to head over to some other place for dessert... we still cldn't finish bitching about our work. Sitting there, listening to everyon'e chatter, it juz dawned on me how much our lives were consumed by medicine. Even on day's off, we were all still haunted by the things that occurred in the past week. It was nice to debrief and yet,at the same time incredibly tiring and weary.

and whoopzz... there goes the beer..

2009-01-24T15:29:00.000-08:00

I woke up on saturday morning and realised to my chargrin that i'd absolutely no plans for the weekend. during teh week, all i cld think about was i needed the weekend so bad to sleeep. but after managing to chalk up a decent 7hours, i realised i had 3 full days to kill. As one of teh consultants said to my colleague, " no matter how shit tired you are, make the effort to go out and see ppl, otherwise your life will juz be work --> eat--> sleep"

So i sent an sos to ppl. At the end of morning, june , pam and afferen had come to my rescue. and i had a reunion dinner set for sunday night and dinner on sat night, the latter to welcome paojing ( yay!!!) back. The gal was back in melbourne for the weekend.

The people who attended sat;s dinner were people whom i occasionally chatted to in school, but never really hung out with. It was kinda awkward at first, trying to slide into a whole new group who had already established firm frenships, internal jokes and a tangible familiarity. but i was grateful to them for including me.

We adjoined to a bar after dinner for drinks. Sitting in the dimly lit asian bistro, with drinks round, I listened to everyone talking about finances/ investments/ taxes / work/ family and their future plans, bitching about nurses and patients . It suddenly dawned on me that i'd finally made that transition to working life.

I'm not a naturally extroverted person, and i usually shy away from large gatherings with random people. to my surprise i found myself geuninely enjoying myself. Even after the whole jug of beer went over onto my skirt/ handbag and my shoes, courtesy of animated handwaving and gesturing from the guy sitting opposite me who was telling a hilarious story about a nurse running int the most hysterical way possible, i was enjoying myself enough to stay and chit chat till late at night.

As I grow older, I realised that it has becomes harder and harder to form close knit frenships, simply because ppl move in and out of my live so fast and work has now taken up a huge chunk of my time. The pillars of my uni life had moved away or grown apart, other acquaintences already have made their firm frens or have their own friendship groups. Esp since my return, it feels like i've been left with a vacuum. It's almost like starting all over again from year one when i first arrived not knowing anyone.

but i had a good time last night , it was a relief to debrief, bitch and know that other people out there who were all on board the same rollercoaster ride of internship with me

snail's pace

2009-01-23T17:50:00.000-08:00

i really need to learn how to handover.. working 7 .5 hours unpaid over time was crazy. knocking off work at 12am is juz plain erm.. but i feel bad leaving all that work undone, not like the cover doctor can do it either. and i worry about the patients who's blood inx results look more and more shitty and weird.
why am i so SLOW??

thank goodness for the long weekend.wanna go shopping but i 'm suffering from severe amotivation.
thank goodness pam is organising CNY eve dinner tomorrow and there's a meetup with paojing today !!! ( yay!! the gal is back from adelaidE!!).

almost week 2

2009-01-22T04:16:00.000-08:00

argh.. crawling towards the end of week 2.. post call . it'll be amazing if my brain still works tomorrow when i present the treatment of H/T in the eldery to my new consultant. bleah.

don't even know wat to do for CNY. i can't even be bothered to spring clean. lol.. CNY. mebbe i shld get some red deco or smth to put myself in the moood. going on a shopping trip this weekend is sounding like a good idea. :D.

Where we all are at ...

2009-01-08T00:40:00.000-08:00

from back row left --> right
soon to be Dr jereme Gan ( studying med in melb), jonaow ( geneticist, doing masters soon in USA), Waihong( studying in USA), Dr. Andre Tan, Tan CG ( grad from cambridge and finished masters in switzaland,), Dr. Tay Wee ming, Lee Jan ( working with the navy),

front ( gals) L > R :
Emily ( juz returned from USA), Cherlyn ( my long time yamaha JSAC classmate and now teaching bio and chem), Me, Dr. Teo Wanlin.

attending class gathering last saturday night after youth service. it's the first i've attended in 3 years i think! i had a lot of fun catching up with everyone, playing taboo, listening to gossip, lame jokes and my ex classmates suaning each other ( the suans still haven't changed 6 years from graduation and it's still the same ppl hahaha!). it' was a bit awkward at first, but then once the conversation got going,... it kept going! we were n't a very close knit class in JC,but we did have a lot of post JC gatherings ( mainly Pool playing sessions , bridge and foosball at Charmain's incredible rec room ) . and a quite a no. of my classmates still kept in touch even when they were overseas. now we're all mostly back in spore with the exception of those of us in melbourne ( me and jereme who are meddies down under) and the ppl in the USA.

will definitely try to attend the next one..

ok.. will try to update more :S.. time back in melby has been craaaazed. orientation is so full on! i'm getting more and more scared as the hours tick by. argh... shadowing interni tomorrow and then it's handover in the evening and by 8am on monday, the patients will all be mine!!! arrrrgh! then agian, it's gerriatrics. perhaps perhaps i'll have time to jio weimou and june ( my fellow rehab and pall care interns )out for coffeee ....

still dunno wat the bloody Op theatres look like.
damn.. why i never do any surg rotations in st vs???!!!

Back from LAX

2008-12-24T16:38:00.001-08:00

and supposed to leave for Penang. will put up photos soon...
but here's some clips on youtube to show some of the awesome aweseom rollarcoasters we took at 6 flags magic mountain in LAX 2 days ago, coz i'm still so psyched by it!!!

Warning: the clips are pretty jerky, so you may not be able to watch the whole thing at one sitting, i certainly cldn't. if you're prone to motion sickness, juz scroll down and watch the 3rd video

after the puny California Screaming at Disney and the delightful Tower of terror whetted our coaster appetites..when my dad asked me to chose between Disneyland and 6 Flags, I said 6 Flags magic mountain.. ( which is well known for building bigger and better coasters frequently). Which was a fortunate choice seeing that the Tans and the Chans were both crazy over rollercoasters...

Riddler's revenge. THis is the world's largest stand up coaster, it's pretty cool, coz you adjust the harness to your height and you basically.. yah. stand the whole way through. As usual, my harness was at the lowest possible height, lol. damn obvious that i'm vertically challenged. ignore the screaming in the video, the coaster wasn't as bad as they made it to be. quite a nice cruisy ride, except for the pressure in the nether regions where the harness goes.. i was really glad i wasn't a guy. :D.

This rollar coaster is nothing like i've taken before. Basically, you get in there, and then the mechanical floor drops down and the seats are swung backwards so you're parallel to, face down and beneath the tracks. Becuase you're hanging beneath the tracks, it feels as though you're flying with just the air beneath you. Awesome .. totally awesome. We were planning on re-taking either this or the riddler's revenge at the end of the day after we had finish conquering the rest of the coasters at 6 Flags... BUT then, we met X 2

This video is ok to watch coz it's not shot by home cameras..

THis was THE ULTIMATE rollarcoaster ride. I swear.. the rollarcoasters were all getting pretty much the same by the time we finished the park ( with the exception of Tatsu). and the 126m high Superman coaster which was supposed to be damn scarey was a Super Big disappointment, so and when i saw the advert for x2 ( which said " 5D experience") i dismissed it as some puny simulator ride.

The coaster bascially has 2 seats on either side of the track. and these seats go into a controlled spin during the ride. So when you get onto the coaster, you're actually tipped backwards ( and have no idea where you're going). it's 5D coz there's indvidual speakers booming out taunting voices and heavy metal music ( if you can hear it over the screaming) and special effects ( flame throwers ) towards the end of the ride. And the drop was 88.5 degree.. almost perpendicular!!!

this is wikipedia's take on it.

X² is a unique prototype design in which the seats can rotate forward or backward 360 degrees in a controlled spin. This is achieved by having four rails on the track: two of these are running rails while the other two are for spin control. The two rails that control the spin of the seats (the "X Rails") move up and down relative to the track and spin the seats using a rack and pinion gear mechanism.

The lift as seen from the queueX²'s lift-hill climbs 175 feet (53 m) into the sky with the ride's tallest point above ground at 190 feet (58 m). The first drop is 215 feet (65.5 m) and is sloped at 88.5 degrees, causing the train to reach a maximum speed of 76 mph (122 km/h). The 3,610-foot (1100 m) long layout features two inversions including a skydive, two "raven turns", one back flip, and a twisting front flip.

cherie babe.. this coaster has a steeper angle than the one at KNott's berry farm :P

this is the view of what we saw when we were on the ride. Warning: very very motion sickness inducing video.

I beat some random angmoh dude to the chair further away from the axle.. mwahhaha. seriously, i wasn't prepared for coaster, i thot it was gonna be another Riddler's revenge ( and coz it was dark, i cldn't really see how the tracks ran). The chairs were drawn up backwards up the incline and as they tipped back, it gave the perfect view of the drop. and then the coaster accelerates at 122km/hr and as the coaster shot down the track, the seats rotated, so we felt as tho' we were doing somersaults while hurtling downwards at breakneck speed. OMG... THe feeling was just totally out of this world. haha. 10 sec into the ride, Jo and I were like .. HOLY SH*T!!! OMG!! OMG!!! the 2nd thot in me and my sibling's minds was . " Oh crap, mom is gonna hate this ride"

I"m proud to say that my mom actually commented that this ride was not as bad as Tatsu. :).. i swear, this ride is twice worst ( or better) than Tatsu.

Turns out that the coaster was the first one we caught sight of when we stepped out of our cars in the morning . I recall Cherie and I going.. " OH MY GOD, we're so not going on that " when we it.

the downside to this super cool ride was that we got knocked around pretty badly coz of teh speed and the turns even with the harness and the padding. I had one nice contusion on my right occiput... and against my better judgement, us kids ( and my dad) decided to take it a 2nd time :) which left me with a headache being knocked about twice in a row.. LOL. oh well,that coaster was too cool to just ride once.

OK. more to come :)
snap shots:
saw Wisteria lane ( they were shooting on set when we passed by in Universal studios, unfortunately, the main stars weren't traversing by at that time"
Saw CRis Angel life in VEgas
Had a naughty gals night out in vegas.. mwhahaha.. *wink* whatever happens in vegas, stays in vegas.
Got caught in the middle of the worst snow storm in 30 years in Arizona.. :(.. and didn't get to see the Grand canyon. car skidded.. that was freaky.
and shopped and shopped and shopped and shopped. ( argh. i'm a bit scared looking at all our purchases *shudder*)

3 familes. One shopping outlet...all shopoholics.

but i'm pleased with new ultra comfy work shoes ( my old ones have their heels worn down by more than an inch)and pleased with my new pretty Coach leather work bag which my dad insisted on buying for me.. Thank you dadddeeee..

And above all, thanks to my dad and the other 2 uncles who worked so hard to plan this trip and drove and drove through rain/ snow/ snow storm/ tiredness/ influenza and wonky left hand drives in the car to get us around and let us have such a wonderful time. Plus the walkie talkie kids: daniel and cherie who did the navigation / GPSing and communications between the vehicles.

this trip also wouldn't have been so fun w/o the Kwey and Chan famlies :) and w/o my own family :D

Graduation !

2008-12-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

My BmedSc degree Cert. quite funny that i saw Slav's facebook nic as "I love all those random letters behind my name." lol.
My MBBS degree cert.

These robes can be anything from batman to superman costumes. seriously

Janine decided that since the red sash was called a Hood, we might as well go all the way and wear 'em properly. ( a dare which i took up )

Amy, me and Riece.

Me, wy, riece and wendy displayng our certs.

Me in my comfy front row seat.

Seriously harry potterish. Wilson hall. the dude in teh floppy hat ( trencher) is the Dean of med ( at the podium). the dude in teh center chair is the chancellor.

Wendy and Jonathan.. my short case buddies! I will always look back fondly at our days spent together in Geelong.

Tzu Yen and me. jiat lat. why his graduation bear bear bigger than mine one.. No fair :P!

Szczepan, me, Yvonne, Jessie and Slav. ( part of my Psychiatry, RAPP group)

Can't have graduation w/o having pix with my 2 favourite Eastern European gentlemen * cough cough* Dr Slav and Dr. ( Dr.) Szczepan ( since he has PhD too)
When i take pix with szczepan , we worry whether the bottom half of my face or the top half of his face will be cut off. :) . but we'll take that risk willingly!

Finally! the day we've all been waiting for for the last 6 years! :). Had graduation mass at St V's in the morning. THo' i was sitting there feeling rather bemused at a full blown Catholic service, and wondering if my parents were feeling equally non-plussed, we all agreed at the end that it was really nice of the school and hospital to put it up for us. AThese photos are courtesy of the nice shiny PINK new camera my parents got for me as a graduation gift.. yay! :) thanks mom and dad!

THe weather was awful. The skies kept pouring down on us intermittently. but we managed to squeeze in a few good shots on the gorgeous South lawn in front of the old Arts building. Wilson hall was packed... the ceremony started with some random dude in a robe playing the pipe organ. and the academics walked in led by the Chancellor ( some damn ancient looking guy whom i've never seen b4 in real life lol) and the vice Chancellor carrying some 'torch".

Anyway.. after copious verbal diarrhoea which sent me nearly nodding off ( which probalby looked terrible coz i was in teh front row). They finally started handing out out out degrees. I couldn' help feeling a sense of elation and pride as i watched my frens Nic, Wy , J9, Riece, Wendy and Jon step up to receive their degrees. It was such a magical moment! We've all slogged like hell togehter for the past 6 yeas, struggled, studied, whined, cried, laughed 2gether and finaly here we were, doctors at last! With such a tough course, it's small wonder why all our seniros and teachers say that the frenships forged in med school are the ones that lasts the longest. As the Chancellor pronounced us as the med class of 2008, the hall was filled with whoops and cheers... We did it! We made it through med school!!! WHOO HOO!!!!

J9, irene, me, ni and wy.

Me and my hogwarts , i mean my graduation robes.

me, pj, wy and ai

music sans that guilty feeling

2008-12-04T04:18:00.000-08:00

i realised i've been singing a lot these past few days. coz helping N with his church music, graduation mass choir practise, reworking some of my old and new songs. NIce to be able to work on music w/o sneaking guilty glances at the pile of untouched medical notes on my desk or having my conscience wrecked by the nagging feeling that i had a ton of revision left undone. The only thing vaguely medical on my desk now is the storybook The House of God ( which is about a medical intern's nightmare year in the hospital) figured might as well get myself mentally prepared for hellish year ahead.
grad in 2 days time!! finally!

Sydney ( IV)

2008-12-03T05:38:00.000-08:00

Day 4-5

We headed to the gorgeous Manly beach ( lotsa men there too :P lol.. all shirtless.. *drool*) . anyway, besides oggling, we both did 1/2 hour jogs to get rid of all the blubber from gorging ouselves on the fantastic food over the last few days.

the weather was so wondeful( in contrast to the day b4's) and we cldn't resist sun tanning.

then we headed to teh Rocks crafts market.... then went back to change and bathe. We then caught the bus to Lierchadt ( think it's spelt smth like that). for Italian food at the Italian Forum. I had risotto with Drill and crab.. yum yum! Then we headed back to Cherie's place.

Day 5

We went to Bondi to bake in the sun.. i never knew suntanning cld be so therapeutic. ( slapped on copious amts of sun block tho'.. haha! too many pix of melanomas lah! ) Then we walked aroudn looking for a bikini , but gals being gals.. we walk into the shop looking for bikinis and i walked out with 2 wallet and a bag.( and no bikini!!)

headed to teh City for Chat Thai ( thai food) and then ice cream agian!! Then back to Cherie's place to pack and head back to Melbourne.

On the plane.. helped the passenger next to me find his wedding ring post touch down. Whew.. I'm really glad i managed to locate the ring 3 rows from where we were sitting. the poor guy looked so distressed! He was super grateful and offered to buy me and my parents lunch at an Italian restaurant his bro-in law owned. LOL.

I had a wonderful time in Sydney. It was super relaxing and i felt really recharged after the nightmarish exams. And what made it even better was the people ( thow, Hy, Cherie, YH, Jon, Wendy and Serene). Esp Cherie.. this buddy whom i've known since i was in diapers. Tho' we only meet twice a year during family gatherings, we still talk as easily as we played 2gether 20 years ago. She really took good care of me during the hols, put up with me invading her house ( and my warped waking time of 530am), and made the best travel companion. :) and I will advise her to pen a food guide since she's such a great foodie! Thanks Cherie babe!!

Thanks Thow too for helping me out on the first day and for joining us for dinners!

Thanks HY and YH for their fantastic company! I'll be seeing HY in melbourne too :D

Sydney trip ( day III)

2008-12-03T05:15:00.000-08:00

The boom net behind the boat

This so does not look anything like in the brouchures of sunny clear blue skies and dolphin watchers...
Me at port Stephens

OMG.. huge tortoise!

I spy with my little eye --- a koala that is awake! ( they usually sleep 21 hour aday, so spying one that is awake is pretty rare). somehow they can sleep on the tree w/o falling out.

We got up nice and early to head to the city and meet up with the tour group to go to Port stephens. I liked the bus captain, he had a wicked sense of humour :). we stopped by a reptile park which was a little erm... got to see a humongous tortise and a platypus ' ( an egg laying mammel with flippers who swims like a fish, but breathes through lungs. i think it got confused during the process of evolution)

.
We headed to port Stephens and boarded teh Moonshadow ( the ferry) for dolphin watching. NOw when we were boarded, the sun was shining ( tho' it was cloudy). When we departed.. it started raining.. and then turned into a full scale storm. Sigh. visiability was bad and after standing in teh rain for a while, we all squeezed inside the shaded cabin. We were so worried that dolphins were not going to be sighted.. but then the captain suddenly announced.. " AND there they are!!" we raced out into onto the deck to catch sight of a whole school of about 20 odd wild dolphins leaping perodically amongst the choppy waves. They were a playful bunch and performed little tricks like flipping and turning around ... it was almost as tho they knew they had an enraptured audience. ( mebbe they do.. they are smart creatures after all). We were sopping wet, looked extremely pathetic with our drenched clothes, hair plastered on our faces... nothing like the happy , dry dolphin spotting tourist featured in teh broucheres :D. but it was worth it! Everyone oohed and ahhed at all the mammal's antics.
After about 20 min, the captain steered the boat away from the mammals and released the boom net behind teh boat. Since we were wet already, Serene ( wy's fren) , cherie and I just shrugged, and jumped onto it.. it was freeeezing! but it was an experience to be sitting on teh net, being dragged behind the large ferry in the midst of the choppy, stormy waters.

ON disembarking, the tour bus brought us to the sand dunes, where we boarded 4 wheel drives to attack the Sand dunes. We came to the top of a huge sand dune, and did sand boarding! it was pretty steep and on using my arms to break my breakneck descent, i was damn afraid i was gonna dislocate my elbows coz of my ligamentous laxity... but boy was it fun! We raced up the dunes to have a 2nd go... itwas raining all the time and i was shivering , wet, and totally covered with soggy sand. When we finisehd our sand boarding, the 4WD bus gave us a treat racingdown the dunes until we came to the gorgeous beach side where we admired the view..
After that, the tour bus picked us up to head back to Sydney. Jiat lat... no time to wash up. i was like wearing my wet clothes until 2 hours later at the rest stop where we changed.

Back at Sydney, we met up with Hy and YH again for dinner at a Korean BBQ place. then we had Passionflower Icecream again and then headed back..

Sydney trip ( II)

2008-12-03T04:57:00.000-08:00

Yummilious Lindt cafe!

SNow Bell meets Big Bell

Nan Tien Temple

Look ma! no hair!

Aaahhhh. i found it! I found it!

Cherie and I on the train to Nan Tien Shi, the scenery en route was gorgeous!

Our meal ( day 2) at Pancakes on the Rocks - Chicken pizza and caeser's salad

The pancakes are the best !

Feast your eyes on macademia nut Pancakes!

Day 3

Cherie and I headed for Nan Tien Shi , which is a branch of Fo Guang Shan temples , and the largest temple in the Southern hemisphere. We had brekky and then took the train for 1 and half hours out of the city. Super grateful for Cherie's companionship! We wandered for half an hour b4 we reached the temple, which was set on sprawling grounds. It was beautifully peaceful and for a moment, you could almost imagine you were in CHina instead of Australia. I'd always wanted to see the temple for myself as the Shifu in Melbourne Fo guang SHan Art Gallery always spoke about it. We had a yummy vegetarian lunch there, and had hilarious fun snapping photos with baby Buddhas in various poses. I was hoping and praying my old shi fu wouldn't walk past and gape in horror at me doing fanastically corny poses with the adorable statues. ( most photos are in cherie's camera coz my camera acting up big time).

We caught the train back and met up with our dinner kakki ( Hy, her cousin YH, and thow)again at the restaurant Hurricanes... and ordered 2 huge platters of pork ribs! at first it was only me, cherie and Hy there and the waitress was wondering why 3 tiny Asian chicks would wanna order 2 massive plates of ribs! we then headed to Lindt cafe ( oh.. heaven!) i sharted an ice chocolate and ice cream with thow and cherie.. Mmmmmmmmmmm

Sydney photos

2008-12-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

Me, Wendy, JOn and a brolly :)

Saaaail awaaaay!

HY and I

The Sydney opera house

View of the Sydney Habour bridge

Sashimi heaven. mmmmm

check out the massive platter of seafood

Sydney fish market

Jon and me and the spread of food.

Wendy trying to hold me back from ordering one too many slabs of sashimi.

I want lobsters..drooool

Cherie babe and me.

Let's do the Hy Pose! ( at the fish market)

Self Shot!!! ( or attempted self shot)

Er zi in front of china town.

Day 1

I touched down in sydney and caught bus no. 400 to UNSW. it was pleasently easy to find my way to the public transport. Was met by my dear Er Zi Thow! went to dump my stuff in his place and both of us got caught up with playing his guitar until we realised that it was nearing closing time for the shops in the city.. wah! we quickly caught the bus down to the city, tried to go Paddy's market but it was closed. so we got icecream ( green tea and black seaseme seed from PassionFlower ice creamery) yum.. i've been craving for this icecream since i came to sydney in year 2!!!! Then went back to Cougee ( the suburb thow was living in) which is actually by the sea. Picked up subway for dinner, then back to Thow's house. Then we jammed until 9pm when cherie and her nice nice fren Ian came to pick me up in his car to head to her house. haha.. i think thow and i were suffering from major jamming withdrawal. On a high siah... until i missed cherie's call 4 times!

Day 2

Cherie and I went to meet up with Hy at the UNSW. Its' quite interesting that we all landed up in Sydney at the same time. Cherie and i have been good frens since we were like.. babies in diapers lol. Hy and I have known each other since primary school. So there i was in Sydney with 2 of my longest standing friends. :) ! how cool is that?

We dumped Hy's stuff at Cherie's place and then headed to the Sydney fish market, where we met up with my classmates Jon and Wendy. We whacked 2 massive seafood platters and one whole slab of sashimi ( wendy had to hold me back from ordering a larger portion) lucky she did, coz we were struggling to finish everything.

Then we caught the bus to Sydney opera house to watch a orchestra performance ( done by the Sydney Orchestra). I enjoyed the pieces by Mozart and Stravinky but the 2nd piece ( can't recall who the composer was) was a bit sedate and unmoving. The pianist was brilliant tho'.

Post concert, i went to book tours. FOund the service quite frustrating. the lady at the tour desk was more interested in taking her personal phone call than helping us. argh. anyway, finally settled on teh Dolphin sighting tour to port stephens.

We landed at Pancakes on the ROcks for dinner, and thow came down to join us. THen it was homeward bound to Cherie's place.

Sydney!!

2008-11-30T03:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here at cherie's desk... 5 days have flown by realli realli quickly.

my camera is half dead, so don't expect many photos. first on day one in sydney, the zoom fxn gave out, then next it keeps telling me got no battery ( when i juz charged it). then after that, it lost the date/time/ year and there's this omnimous blue screen (that looks like the windows blue screen of 'death') , and n no display. sigh. so i end up taking photos the traditional way ( eye to lens), and dunno whether the photos are registered or not. so if you wanna see more photos, gotta wait till late dec when i drive over to Cherie babe's to get the rest of the pix on thumbdrive from her camera
. I so need a new camera :S, there's no way that thing is gonna last to take graduation photos. mom and dad , can please borrow jo's camera to for your melb trip, otherwise, grad day is gonna have no photos at all.

Sydney has been an absolute blast so far!! really really enjoying myself. thanks so much to cherie for hosting me and going round with me. ANd it's been fantastic with thow , haoyun and her cousin around to join us for our evening ->night food rampages. And coz cherie knows all the best food places in sydney, we've been pretty much gorging ourselves with good stuff every night. argggh.. don't wanna look at the scales manz.

will update with full story plus some photos ( if my camera hasn't lost 'em)when i get back to melb!

Wheeee. !!! To sydney I go!

2008-11-24T23:33:00.000-08:00

N came over to my place today so i could help him with his church music. It was then i realised how much of my yamaha music training had literally gone with the wind. Jiat lat... But then again, to begin with, i never really quite belonged in the music course anyway. Always gave all my teachers grief. " XL, how the hell did you ever get into this course??? Pull up your socks " ( to which, i really bent down and pulled up my sagging stockings, being the silly 10 year old i was)

After discussing it with him, it was decided that the tune shoudl be transposed down a few keys..and that's when to my horror, i realised that whatever little ability i had to transpose tunes was completely shot to hell. ( *wail... so many donkey years of music education and comes down to this??!!!*)

i resorted to writing out the notes by ear and then manually transposing the tune down by counting notes.. i got frustrated with trying to tinker out the melody on guitar and boardnapped aiai's keyboard from the hall to help me with the process. managed to get it done in the end and briefly annotate some notes for the musician in charge.

N's church was starting up a new band. kinda reminds me of our soracco music group :)when we first started prep for OTDTYH concert. It really struck me how lucky we were with our available funding and resources and people like Mal, Aug, Ailing and Angie to lead. Even things like the sound system , which are handled by Mal and Thow with such aplomp, are things i take for granted.

N was orginally worried that I would be offended if he asked me to help look over some Christian songs, but i reassured him that it wasn't a problem. I guess one thing good about Buddhism is that it' doesn't place limits or prevent us from working with or respecting religions other than our own. nontheless, i appreciated his thoughtfulness on the matter.

Finally got my arse around planning my sydney trip ( sorry Haoyun :(.. i'm such a bum), and i'm leaving tomorrow! It's sort of a relief actually. coz since the exams.. i've been veggietating, or " decomposing" :D. heheh ( music wise), and it's getting a little bit unsettling.

having nothing to do is nice for a few days, but for a person used to living her life by an almost frigid timetable, it's getting a bit old and tiring, so Sydney will be a good break for it all and opportunity to catch up with some of my dearest frens :).

but having said that, it's been wonderful having the time to have one -on -one dinners with some of my closest buddies, whom i've been neglecting during this oh-so-stressful semester and having the luxury to take our own sweeet time and not have to rush home to bury our heads in the well thumbed copies of oxford textbook of medicine.

another marie digby song Stop me This time

2008-11-23T16:54:00.000-08:00

I just love her songs... :D

Lyrics :

i'm infected it's like a disease
like poison, you touched me, my heartbeat
it's spreading so sweetly
what are you thinking.. when we're this close?
i count on the space that i keep
guards up in towers they're watching, they're waiting
don't hurt me
the walls that protect me, keep me inside
i hate it when we say goodbye
alone for the rest of the night ... without you

tonight, i am waiting for you
to call me when you're not supposed to
i've been trying to send you signs
the doors to me are hard to find
so stop me, stop me, this time...

you kiss me goodnight on the cheek
each time it gets closer to my lips
or am i imagining
the parking lot's empty
so kiss me again

i hate it when we say goodbye
alone for the rest of the night without you

tonight, i am waiting for you
to call me when you're not supposed to
i've been trying to send you signs
the doors to me are hard to find
so stop me, stop me this time..

graduation dinner

2008-11-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

We had our graduation dinner at Berth Restuarant which was located in Docklands. I' pass by berth every day on my jogging route and counted down silently to our grad dinner. And finally, the big day had arrived!

As usual, with my wonderful sense of timing, I realised to my horror that i had half an hour to bathe, dress up and smack on my makeup and do my hair.. LOL.
I actually managed to do that on time ( and still have ppl say that my makeup was nice *smirk*) ... and then race out ( coz as part of the commitee, i had to go there to set up early). and jiat lat! it started pouring! The wind was howling as well. I cldn't be stuffed to run back up to get my brolly coz i was already late.. so there i was in my heels running in the rain. I though wryly to myself.. this is why i train 5km everyday for .. to be able to run in record time on my freakin heels and cocktail dress. The wind was too strong and i had to take shelter halfway there.. lucky my make up and hair stayed intact.
managed to get there, get the shotglasses/ and chocs given out. At that time Caitlin , the organiser had arrived and she took charge.
The turn out was really good and everything ran smoothly! I really enjoyed myself unlike other dinners where i didn't really know a lot of teh people. these ppl were ppl i've worked with for the past 2 and half years..:) . like Dr. Ed Harrari ( our speaker) said.. the peoplearound me were going to be the ones to pull me from the edge and keep me sane and steady in the years to come. Slav and I had fun announcing the award winners.. haha.. with awards like " most likely to get hit by the stick; most likely to get caught playing pool during class; were given"
It was lovely to see everyone having a good time and that our efforts in organising this event had paid off! i realise i need to relax a bit more when i help organise stuff LOL. i can't relax until i'm sure everything is running smoothly and everyone's having a good time. jiat lat.
more pix as i poach them from other :D will come.. so watch this space

Grad dinner III

2008-11-21T13:21:00.001-08:00

Andrew Lin.. famed for his impecable straight hair. So we had him be the head of the pyramid :D.. he's doing almost the same rotations as me next year.. i've already warned him that he might receive SOS pages on our night shifts 2gether ..
" AAARRGH!! I CAN"T CATHERISE THE PATIENT!!! Heeeeeelp!!"

more with the boys in group C ( see write up in Grad dinner I)

me, Jon and Wy haha.. ( we borrow him from wendy for a while hor.. )

Wy and me! My housemate and clinical group mate, wy always never fails to send a sweet note and chocs whenever i'm feeling down or to cook us the occasional mummy-like "bu3 tang1" when we're nearing exams! i'll miss her loads when she heads back to spore at the end of year . no more hearing her voice in my house ;(.

The gals! Me, wy , riece and wendy. I'm really glad to have gotten to know riece, wendy and Jon better in the last semester! whether it's doing short cases together, teaching each other, giving each other support or just sitting round the geelong table laughing at jon's Horribly lame jokes ( and the lot of ones about the back passage), i've always enjoyed their company :D

our group table

Us gals with REhana ( who was awarded the Belle of the ball) she's the most gorgeous gal i've seen.. drop dead.. gorgeous .. *drool* okok.. chill, i'm straight, i'm straight. Kay is on the right.. she looks absolutely stunning in her purple outfit :D

Group C.

My dear groupmates and I ( from left: matt, Luisa, Shehara, Wy, Me and Ken
We've gone through 2 and half years 2gether... shared laughter, bad PJ and hair days and nights in geelong, outings, good bad and ugly tutorials, tears, and yez.. even Singlish! Everyone in the group has always been supportive and encourgaing and i 'm really lucky to have had the chance to work with them and have that very conducive environment to grow as a med student.

The lovely ladies of Group C.

Luisa was also in the running for Ms Lovely and she is indeed Ms Lovely. She's got the sweetest desposition and always looks like she's stepped out of a fashion magazine

Shehara should be in the running for best comedian :D.. She' s confident, very generous and sensitve to everyone's emotions, very calm in all situations and never afraid to voice out her opinions. ANd she's our group spokesperson :D.

And both ladies are wonderful at baking goodies too!

Grad dinner ( II)

2008-11-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Kentaro Sakata and me... here goes another ( i'm -too tall so let's make this easier and let me squat down) picture. I borrowed him from Riece for a while.. LOL. just kidding just kidding .

Michael , one of the post grads

Both kentaro and michael were in the same group as me during our Women's rotation. haha! they always super blur! and relied on me for the timetable. jiat lat. i get it wrong, everyone screwed manz. Anyway.. here's to the memories of trying our darnest to do PBLs over lunch (whehtr it be sneaking off to some viet joint in the city; or discussing it in the dodgey student room there) and giving each other bleary eyed greetings during our overniight shifts on the labour ward with our screaming patients.

Dr Beswick! OUr dean. She's one inspirational and amazing woman. She 's in charge of our undergrad education and the post grad training, which has done very well under her guidence. Despite her punishing schedule, she always makes time to teach and to hear out our ( often horribly presented) long cases. Although i've nearly sent her falling off her chair several times in horror during my bad bad presentations, Dr. Beswick has always been very patient in guiding and teaching :) and she was always there for us tocheer us on whether it be our OSCEs or even my random neurological prize exam. although she runs an infamous reputation among our uni of been a slave driver.. under that 'stern' demeanour , is a lady who has our interest and our education at heart. Even Andrew Cheng, who was awarded " most likely to be hit by The Stick" acknowledged this by giving our lovable dean a hug during his award acceptance :).

the stick is literally , a huge 1 m long wooden rod, which Dr. beswick brandishes during all her lectures and uses it to get our attention.

Dan Mason, awarded most likley to surf part time and work part time. I did my GP rotation under his mother. which was quite amusing.. learning interestin anecdotes about your classmate from his mom. haha.. prob not always a good thing :D he's a lovely dude and always catching the waves down in Geelong in between classes.

Tzu Yen and me This is probably the first photograph we've taken 2gether since we broke up. I guess i'm glad to end our clinical school years on an amiable note, with good memories of jogs at princess park, hot choc, prata and his failed attempt to convert me into one of the million coffee addicts out there. Some things haven't changed, he's still crazy over coffee, coffee art , photography and still lousy at Singlish ( tho dedicated groupmates wendy/ riece and jon have been trying to educate him) :D

Grad dinner!

2008-11-21T12:35:00.000-08:00

cause i'm such a freakin insomniac these days at 4am.. shall indulge in multiple uploads. mwahahah

Alex! Voted The spunk of the ball!

Szcepan and I ( i kept getting jibes about my lack of vertical growth, esp from Ken Ye grrrrrr). but with Szcepan (who's nearly 1.9 m tall, ) i need to admit that yes, if we stood side by side. I would have the bottom half of my face cut off and he would have had the top half cut off.. so there you go, the gentleman decided to get down on the ground... lol. I miss having both him and Slav in my group!! ( all 7 hours of it.. coz sczepan pontanged the rest of the time LOL) He was rightfully awarded " most likely to be a comedian if he weren't a doctor". but his acceptance speech went a little bit.. awry and we had to wrest the mic from him.. lol. I''ll miss him fondly when he goes to western hospital next year, and brings his jokes with him

And Slav! He's the other wunnerful post grad in my RAPP group. He's got a wit to match Sczepan's... and always tries to outsleep wy in class :). Looking 4ward to working with him next year..

Me, Dr. Jackie Walters and Miram. I owe alot to Dr. Walters, who gave me lotsa emotional support during the difficult semester 9. She personally walked me to the ortho clinic and ensured i had an appointment when i did my knee in. such a sweetie! And her door was always opened to me when i needed a listening ear.

Miriam is our amazing administrator who knows every name and face of every single student that has ever walked through our clinical school doors ( she can still even rattle of studen'ts names when they are registrars!!) she's lovely and highly efficient! and one will always rembemr her familiar voice over the PA system urging us to get to class when we're camping out in our common room! :D

Me and the boys from Group C. Ken ye ( left) and Matthew Choy. Ken is my long suffering group buddy and an aspiring orthopedic surgeon ( from DAy one in clinical school, he fell in love with ortho and has never looked back) he was awarded the opportunity to attend the prestigious ortho workshop/conference in sydney ( i think he's the only melb uni awardee or smth) . I shall look back fondly at the time we spent together on the same surg team, it worked out beautifully coz i hated OT and he hated the wards. so he knew all the patients intra-op andi knew everything about their post op progress. LOL.

Matthew choy was rightfully awarded the vote of Most likely to succeeed as Prof of Medicine in SVH . The brains of the group, he's a budding neurologist, winning the JJ Billings neurological prize. Although almost always thoughtful and serious, sometimes you do get glimpses of quirkiness that might add interesting flavour to his future lectures he will give to the future batches of medical students in neuorology :D

POst exam parties (part one)

2008-11-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

I decided to organise a party for the internationals ( singaporeans and pseudo sporeans plus a few extras lol) . That was us in 2004 in the picture on the left ( at Amy's house during our bbq). and this is us now in 2008 ( right pix) post finals.. We did it! We've passed MBBS! Riece kindly allowed us to come in and trash her place :D. The food was fantastic and the company even better!

From back row ( L-R) : j9, me, pj, amy, maggie,

front row ( L- R): jon, angelika, wendy

from L-R ( janine's thumb in the screen, angelika, pj, me and amy)
The Royal Melbourne Hospital people with an Austin Hosp intruder (Ave!)

Shueh hui, Kay, Pj and Me

n We are the St V's family! Check out the family potrait.. back from: Kay, me, wy and riece
Front: the happy couple ! Wendy and jon!

few days pre exams...

2008-11-20T04:40:00.000-08:00

Aveline looking cool in her sunnies...
After our Osces, met up with my galfrens for breakie at a quaint coffee place that was recommanded by Aiai... I shared a banana bread slice with honey and cheese plus a crossient with avacado and grilled mushrooms/ ricotta cheese with aiai.. good company, good food and lotsa girly giggles :)

aiai and my food. :)

Me and my dear housie : AIAI! and our food.. yum!

riece, me, wendy and Ave

The gang at my place where they surprised me with a cake b4 our study session. forgive the bad fashion.. those are my fav PJs. lol

Old pix from aiai's bday celebrations. that mocktail i had was one of the better ones i've tasted.

OMG OMG OMG

2008-11-18T19:44:00.000-08:00

I"M FREEE FREEEEEEE... AAAARRRGHH!! My LAST UNDERGRAD EXAM.. GAAAAhhh..

ok. i'm gonna sleep now.. mentally spent.

wah piang

2008-11-18T01:24:00.000-08:00

tick tock tick tock... tomorrow is the last exam...

I"m like a mince mash of bo-chapness, resignation, nervousness, excitement all rolled into one. absolutely hopeless.

Eeeek!

Junior doctor's walking out...

2008-11-16T14:28:00.000-08:00

http://www.theage.com.au/national/in-critical-care-20081116-684i.html?page=6

seriously.. they shld just head north to singapore and malaysia. they'll probably appreciate what they have here a lot more.
let's just face it. When we're in this profession, if you don't say "yes" to anything you're asked to do, you've just marked yourself. it's been 100s of years of lousy work conditions, and nothing is gonna change our superior's mindsets that the massive patient load only "serves to make us stronger and better doctors" and since we depend on our superiors to write us CVs in order to get into training programmes, bo pian lor. juz slog lor. nvm that it's been how any hours since we last ate or drank. or that we're not even double checking what drug we're scribbling on the drug chart.
It's not that i'm agreeeing that this is what I want, i'm dreading it myself, but trying to change someone's set mindset is like trying to move mountains or smth. so what to do.. just grin and bear it and hope I don't kill someone in the next few years.

small wonder why doctors have the next highest suicide rates after dentist.

Parents have started arriving in melb. Our house quite re nao now :P... ANd i'm utterly amazed at the array of foods that can pass through the aussie customs :).
Housemate's dad super nice.. he made ginseng soup for me in light of my upcoming paper! So sweet!

the power of the mom

2008-11-16T03:32:00.000-08:00

We've been mercilessly teasing wy about her spanking clean room in view of her mom's arrival tomorrow.
i swear doing a microbial swab of the floor will yield zero bacterial growth at this point of time. haha :D

on the other hand, can't say the same for my room. pre exams manz.. pre-exams. * sheepish grin*

Traffic.

2008-11-15T17:07:00.001-08:00

i swear i always choose the weirdest times to churn out songs. one written in the midst of studying diabetes, this one written on top of the page of Colorectal cancer. .

it's sorta sara barielle's inspired kinda tune which i'm still working on ( preferbly post long case) slaps head, so the chords probably aren't finalised yet. Ok. Back to colorectal carcinoma and bleeding through the ahem... the one , the only , the mighty BACK PASSAGE!!! sorry jon, i couldn't help it.

speaking of back passages, for someone who cracks frequent jokes about the hole of holes, i really haven't been able to feel a single cancer coz my finger is too short and contorting myself to reach up further with one finger up someone's arse just ani't the prettiest picture to conceive.

Traffic

Bb F E b
Life is a one way traffic
With many a stops along the way
A sprawling tangle of different streets
Cm F
Crowded but lonely in the day

Bb F E b

So Close your eyes, and walk along with darkness
Cause it’s only bright lights you’re meant to seek
When you’re soaring high, alone in the skies
Cm F
You’ll be trapped by the fences you can’t see

Chorus:
Cm
So circle that round-a-bout
Dm
Don’t slam on the brakes
And don’t scream out
Eb Bb / A
Cause no one’s gonna listen anyway
Gm
The road rules have been all laid out
Cm
You don’t have the choice of opting out
Eb
Cause you’re caught in the flow
Bb
Caught in the flow…
Cm
Of traffic…

Verse 2
Blow your money on that shiny 4 wheel drive
Coz it’s a price only your pay cheque can meet.
Toss out that trusty 2 wheeled bike
That got you from door to door in your times of need.

Learn the Highway code by heart.
Cause it’s their definition of black and white
I drove off the highway, got lost on the roads
stopped at the junction, but I couldn’t turn right.
.

I am woman.. here me mooo

2008-11-15T05:24:00.001-08:00

Got this song from Dr. Punna Wong to encourage me for the exams.. with the tag
Pls listen to this to give you a BOOST for the exams!! YES you can do it!!!!Beat the boys flat and get all the super HIGH Distinctions!!
how apt. LOL. i'm juz focusing on trying to struggle to pass the exam after those friggin osces.

it's actually the song for the liberation mvt for women in 1972
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Woman

but seriously...
guess no matter what.. liberation or no liberation... No matter how successful we females get, we're still subject to societal views as clearly demarcated in an Asian context. Gotta juggle career, gotta find the right catch, gotta raise the kids.... someone shoudl write a song promoting the stay at home husband or smth. ( tho' i highly doubt that song would make it to the top of the charts haha).

and the opening phrase reminds me of the song:
I am cow, hear me moo, i weigh twice as much as you and i look good on a barbeque...

pitching in on the double X chromosome in surveys...

2008-11-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

I was groaning over the terrible OSCE when wendy suddenly started hissing urgently" LOOK LOOOK!!!"
30 pairs of female eyes turned and rested on the angsty eurasian dude standing at the speaker's podium in the LT. Dark hair, tall, well built, great bod, with swoon-worthy chisled features..

YUM.

" Oh he looks like an actor!!! " wendy whispered excitedly.

He muttered something about the survey in a " oh - look- i'm -so -cool" manner and then proceeded to distribute the papers.

30 pairs of female eyes trailed him as he moved towards the front row with unadulterated interest.

" ah hem " jon cleared his throat.
me and wendy were busy drooling over the dude.

" Ah HEM"

Shhhhh.... perving in process

" hey.. do you think that we'll get a free dinner date if we do the survey??" i whispered to wendy. " i'll take that over the stupid 30 bux offered for the interview"

"dunno.. can try asking. " wendy joked back.

" AH HEM ." more throat clearing from jon.

lol.. oh well. now you know the most effective way to get participation for surveys is

1) to attack a bunch of pple who are holed up post exam in the lock-up room coz we're sitting ducks with nowwhere to run

2) get a drop dead hunky dude / babe to distribute the papers.

sure fire -win situation

What TOES???

2008-11-14T12:40:00.001-08:00

It was lovely to see old staff return to support us. Dr. Salinitri's presence had an immediate calming effect on the group when she briefed us for the exam. I was delighted to see Claire , our old clinical educator , return as well. They still remembered each and everyone of our faces and names... The familiar faces of the clinical school staff also helped settle our nerves slightly. They padded up and down the corridors.. offering us water in between the stations and murmrering words of encouragement. Even Dr. Beswick, our dean, made sure she was there for each batch of students to cheer us on.. That's what i love about St Vs.. the support from the staff has always been a big plus point for me.

Snap back to the exam: station one

'stem: do a lower limb neuro on this patient..."

first thots.. Oh gooody, neuro exam. one of my favourites.. after doing 4 full blown neuro exams in the last week , i felt a little more reassured.. lukcy it wasn't teh obscure hand exam or smth.

i knocked the door as the bell to start went and entered for the OSCE, i took one look at the patient and did a double take. It was the same dude from my semester 8 exams 2 years ago. I perfored a diabetic exam on him then. hmmm..... Back then, he had an impressive ulcer on the left foot and looked grumpy and kept grunting when i gave him instructions. Today, he still kept grunting when i gave him instructions, and still looked grumpy but the diff was : where his ulcer on his toe once, there was now... Nothingness. He had had a forefoot amputation ( ie.. goodbye Mr toes)

I got him to walk. and then it came to the "standing on tip toe part" Erm... Wat TOEs????
ok.. got patient to lie down.. everything was going fine besdies the fact that i had trouble lifting his Gi-normous legs w/o falling flat on my face coz of the weight. Damn... i was getting mixed signs. dunno wat the hell was going on.
I got down to testing propioception on the toes ( important for the exam) and then i was like. WHAT TOES???!!!!
i looked up and gave the examiner a helpless shrug and she sighed.. " skip that part"

I grabbed my neurofilament and tried to test the sensation over the points suggested by endocrinologist.. which happens to be ( no prizes for guessing) ---- under the toes..

WAT TOES???!!!!

THe bell rang and i was still struggling to present my findings..

THe examiner looked as panicked as i did .

" Quick QUICK!! tell me your diagnosis!"
" QUick quick.. tell me your differentials." I choked out 3 , dunno whetehr correct or not.
" Quick QUICK!!! Tell me what test you would do for peripheral neuropathy"
I squeaked out one last word and the door was flung open by the invigilators..

had enough time to flash the examiner a grateful smile and staggered out..

Station number 2:

i totally blanked out, left out the ENTIRE bicarbonate value and was scratchig my head wondering why the patient wasn't dead with an anion gap of about 100!!! the examiner gave me an wonderful exploding marker pen to work out my sums which left my hands a lovely shade of peacock blue and both of us staring at them ( and the mess on the paper).
w/o saying much, he yanked out the pen from my grasp and plonked his own pen in my hands togehter with some tissue paper in the other ( i was still staring at teh numbers, my mind a jumble trying to work out the arterial blood gases). at my baseline level.. i can't do maths for nuts.. at a stressed level.. the numbers absolutely dont' make sense.. like really.

station 3:
the surgeon kept getting into this scarey coughing fits which kept making the patient and me stop and stare at him, half expecting him to asphyxiate halfway... i finished the station in such a big hurry that i had 4 min to stone at the examiner and patient and listen to the examiner bitch about ( in a nice way ) having to spend his entire day watching us med students sweat it out over the same patients again and again. and the patient talk about how she was bumped up the waiting list for agreeeing to come in and be poked and prodded. lol

station 4:
I was reading the stem and closing my eyes , muttering under my breath all the differentials.. i think i looked like i was freaking out totally.. felt a tap on my shoulder and i jumped when i turned arnd and saw my dean, the formidable Dr. WB, who patted me on the back reassuringly..

" Relax! just relax!"

Bell rang.. push door.. go in.

after doing the history on the patient who was acting like he was in absolute agony.. he kanchiong,.. i also kanchiong.. felt stupid asking irrelevant questions when the guy looked like he was gonna arrest ( and with the examiner sitting there looking at us with amusement)
Bell rang. exmainer shoved an ecg in my hands..

even after going through 1/4 of the book of 150 ECGS.. i just blanked out.

" Erm.. sinus tachy???"

i was about to comment about the st segments when he snatched the paper from my hands ( it was actually to allow me to gain marks for saying .. NO ST elevations)
and then i was shown a really crappy CXR ..
ERM>. Aortic dissectION???!!! Hang on ! didn't that come out last year??? wat the...

Seriously.. I dunno wat to make of these exams..

retreated to the common room... waited for quite a while before everyone left. only then did i dare to approach the dinky old piano that sat at the back of teh room. usually impressive classical pieces were banged out on it during the day time. sigh.. way too many high achievers in medicine..
I always felt too paiseh to touch the instrument and tickle the keys with my mediocre playing.
but it was all quiet today, too tempting.
just played a few random songs... it'was so sooothing. music just helped me shut out everything else, it felt good to just get lost somewhere else from the nightmare that we were in. dunno what i'd do without my xiao bao bei guitar either... saved me from numerous paroyxms of palpitations when i panicked.

then when i lifted my fingers off the keyboard.. it was a rude snap back into reality.
sigh.
one more paper to go!

other bits from others:
" tell me about the CXR" candidate:
"that's a really crap CXR"

examiner introeing himself: " Hi, my name is Dr. ____, and this is the DEBUG
( antiseptic wash)"
( indicating the student shoudl wash their hands to get their points . lol.. how blatent)

omg.. wat the...

2008-11-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously, that was the WORST exam i've ever ever done in my life in med school..

i was too stunned to do anything, torn between laughing hysterically and crying.
like i was ranting to nic on the phone.. when i saw the trigger to one of the stations on CIN II the first thing was

****

the 2nd thing that popped into my jumbled mind was

DAmnit.. nic was right

the 3rd thing was

OMG... we should have be more serious during practise instead of me pulling faces at nic and telling him it won't come out and if it did i would scream down the corridor.

So maybei shld have screamed.

the 4th thing in my head was

AAAAARGH the bell has gone.. now i'm supposed to go in for the station. wat ... wat am i supposed to do again????!!!!

the other stations were weird.. if not weirder. it was like. WAT"s your point? wat do you want me to get out of it??? OMG> heeeelp!

sigh. not as though any additional mugging would have made a diff. guess if i'm a shit med student means i'm a shit med student.. just hope i'll pass the stations, otherwise landing in front of the progress committee is a whizz bang way to end off the semester.

sigh. ok. gotta try to pull myself togehter and do the next OSCE tomorrow. i dont' even have the motivation to study manz.. if they're gonna give such stupid stations... really manz. wat's the point. i study like some xiao ja bor also go no diff then if i juz went in blind.

the count down continues (II)

2008-11-11T01:18:00.000-08:00

about 36 hours to the beginning of the end...

ARGH.

i'm feeling at a loss what to do. it's too late to start on topics. it's too early to stop altogether .
*looks at books*

i'm seriously need to revert myself. keep having intermittent palpitations.
flecainide anyone?

JIA YOU Everyone! This is IT....

More quirks from NPS

2008-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

From module of drug r/v : on prescribing NSAIDs ( pain killers for osteoarthritis

Although NSAIDs can reduce pain and inflammmation associated with inflammatory conditions, they have a large and daily increasing list of toxicities: peptic ulcer disease, renal failure, worsening cardiac failure and hypertension, and possibly cardiovascular events.
Risks frequently outweigh benefits, particularly in elderly patients with multiple pathology. To be prescribed only to people you don't like and/or those who can fully understand the risks

Scenerio 2:

Doing the module on H/T control on NPS, was debating which of the ACEi drugs i should prescribe my patient... the last drug on the list was called Trandalapril. upon selecting it and reading the comments: this was what I saw....

Trandolapril has the longest half life of the ACE-I and is preferred by some clinicians for this reason. ( oooo. sounds great, i was about to add it to my prescription.. then i saw the rest of the comment)

The only other comment to make about trandolapril are the unusual brand names: Odrik, Gopten and now Tarka (as a combination with Verapamil). Sound like the sort of medications you would buy over the internet from a bloke called Borat in Khazhakstan.

LOL.

our pharmaco lecturer did mention that drug companies , when discovering a new drug, actually intentionally bestowed the drugs terrible names which could give any one a major tongue spasm in attempting to prounounce them, and were just darn hard to remember. Apparently some companies even had special departments dedicated to coming out with tonguetwisting names. THe purporse was so that they coudl come up with a spiffy, easy sounding brand name, get a patent for the brand. clinicians who already had more than enough to cram in their brains would just settle on using the easy-to-recall brand names instead, and end up prescribing to patients the drugs with the brand names that were easy to remember . Not neccesarily the drugs of the class which had the easiest dosing regime/ least amoutn of side effects.

the Chocolate sign

2008-11-07T20:26:00.000-08:00

Was doing the NPS online for managment of heart attack,

the question was: which of the following will i use to monitor my treatment success:

option: the postiive chocolate sign ( i was like.. wtf was the positive chocolate sign??) so i checked the box 'no" ....

the system said:

INCORRECT

Cardiology patients are the world's second highest consumers of chocolate after teenagers that have just broken up with their first boyfriend, and is a reliable sign that the patient is improving.

*faint*. i think the writer of the module must have been really bored.. or she ate a lot of choc after breaking up with her high school sweet heart.

no more a student....

2008-11-07T17:39:00.000-08:00

No more lessons as an undergrad. how time flies. as i peered into my empty locker in my clincical school one last time, i heard jon mutter to his little storeaway place.
" good bye locker.. you were a good locker, even if you were way down under .. "( he got the 2nd row of lockers)
outside the locker room , the angmohs were popping champange and toasting to the end of our 6 years.
people were milling around.. most smiling and musing over how we have mangaed to stagger our way to the last official day of school.

sigh. one week to exams. wish i had more time to study, but wish the exams were here sooner.
i need to stop day dreaming about post exam plans and focus.. LOL. keep thinking about sydney, grad dinner, singapore, food, USA.... jiat lat. FOCUS FOCUS! and for some reason.. p. ubin ( after seeing pix on yahoo.com) . time and weather permitting, i shld attempt another trip to chek jawa, hopefully it'll be low tide. so xian if go there and then not a single starfish or marine life in sight again!
ok *snaps fingers* back to boring radiology yawn..

student for one more day

2008-11-06T04:22:00.000-08:00

unbelievable . tomorrow's my last day of school like EVER EVER EVER!!!

ARGH.. i'm feelgin more and more unconfident about my osces :( and long case :( :(. still giving my dean heart attacks during presentations.. NOoooooooo...

back to the books...

miffed

2008-11-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

Frustrated and miffed.. goodness, i've never been so pissed off for a while...
even after downing 2 panadols, running 5km at full speed, turning on the water tap and pouring everything out to my poor long suffering housie and uncle, i've still got a bad headache.. sigh.

seriously, if i ever treat medical students like that when i'm a reg, someone please slap me.
i think ppl just forget how frustrating it is to be a medical student and how it feels like to be grovelling at the bottom of the rungs.

ok. study session next. Focus.. deep breath. 2 days to the end of school. and i really need to look out for oncoming traffic.. not that suicidal.. not yet anyway..

i'm fine.. it's just combination of stress, plus bad day etc that's just kinda sent me over the edge..
THanks dad for the jokes .... even if the subject is a bit erm... but then again, like father like daughter. it's humor i can appreciate :D

the countdown continues

2008-11-01T01:26:00.000-07:00

3 days more as a medical student

9 days to quivering in front of the examiners

15 days to freedom ( if i don't need a retest)

one more month to getting that freaking piece of paper i spent 6 years slogging for...

i'm alternating between states of freaking out and resignation... ARGH... when will this end manz?!!??

every single moment

2008-10-28T01:37:00.000-07:00

WHen i went back to Penang 2 years ago for CNY, as I greeted my uncle and my grandmother, i had no idea i was going to be seeing them for the last time.

My uncle died of what sounded like a Intracerebral bleed last year. As for the grandmother, news came that she passed away suddenly of what sounded like a heart attack yesterday.
When i opened the email from my mom, expecting something about flight details ( the topic was a reply to my enquiry about our plans for the end of year), instead what met my eyes made my heart sink.

WHen i waved goodbye through the dusty car window 2 years ago, I just expected they'll still be there 2 years from now, when we can tumble out of the car and chorus. " Ah Mah! Zi Gu!" .

It just serves to remind me how precious life is and how much i should treasure every moment i have with my loved ones.

Tick tock...

2008-10-25T02:37:00.000-07:00

2 weeks more of being a med student * shiver*.... i still feel like i'm not ready, but i want this whole thing to be over.

aiai was so tickled that she managed to go convince me to step out of the house from hibernation and join her and j9 for dinner. It's been ages since i've headed into city for a meal.. kinda nice just to chuck the books aside for a bit and hang out with my galfrens. We had a huge big cup of free gelato each from trampoline.. YUM.

Managed to split my small toe nail after walking into a chair.. sigh, wat's new. klutzy me. my poor bloodied small toe .. :S.

Elevating ourselves

2008-10-23T01:40:00.000-07:00

Conversations in the elevator.

J hits the button for his desired floor..

" i'm gonna get a shade darker. " he says to me and W.

" huh? why?"

" i'm going to level ten .. get it? "tan" ? "

W and I just gave a sigh of exasperation and rolled our eyes at him.
A group of other med knobs entered the lift.

" YOu know that registrar we had in semester 9.. dr. XXX? " one of the dudes piped in.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"What about her?" someone else asked.

I anticipated the answer was going to about how brilliant and outstanding DR XXX was... but then the answer came:

" SHe' s real hot yeah?"

There was a pause, and everyone stared at him in disbelief. and then burst out laughing.

" But she IS Hot!!" he protested..

This was so reminiscent of one of our lumps and bumps surgical tutorial where when ordered by the tutor to split into 2 groups, all the guys immediately gravitated towards the hot looking female breast surgeon, while only a tiny group of us ( mainly gals) remained with the old, bearded one.

hmmm... you wonder why.

War of the Wards.

2008-10-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

3 weeks to the exam. The tension is extremely palpable on the wards as all medical students clamour to find enough patients to clerk or practise. It's horrible.... There aren't enough english speaking , nice patients in the hospital to go round. Let's not even bring in the battle for discharge summaries that we have to write up.

it's like world war 3 brewing under an exchange of niceties and smiles that you give your colleagues in the morning on the morning ward rounds while you desperately scribble down names of interesting patients to attack later on in the morning. Our ears prick up the when a fellow student asks for cases from the on-call registrar/ intern and we try to figure an approp time slot to show up at that place. We pad up and down the corridors, peeking round corners into the rooms.. Hearts sink when we see the unmistakable feet happily planted in the cubicle behind drawn curtains and we turn away in defeat, swearing under our breath when we see our target patient already taken by another victorious medical student. If an appropriate patient is available, we flash our sheepish smiles, try to draw sympathy by going by the " i'm a final year student... can i have a chat with you?" ( and if you're desperate) " i'm graduating in 3 weeks time, i cld be your doctor in a couple of months so you jolly well better let me get my practise.. before i send you into a nice fluid over load trip next year.. "

The next challenge is to try to clerk your case in an hour. That's if you don't get interuppted by phsyios, nurses, OT, doctors who all seem to show up in good time. Or worse yet, the patient gets hauled away by the PCAs for some CXR or CT.

We've been attacking short cases in a group of 5. Me, R, W , J and Wy have been prowling our list and pulling out good cases and trying to cajole the patients into seeing a group of desperate final years. THe moment they say the magic word, we meet up and charge in. So the poor patient finds themselves on the receiving end of 5 stethesceopsa nd the command of 5 voices telling them to " breath deeply through your mouth" or say " 99" .. one wonders why they don't go into resp alkolosis from overbreathing coz of the whims of students wanting to hear that elusive bronchial breathing that is supposedly evident on their left lower lobe. Then we head for the next case.. ready to glare down any other student who tries to sneak in before us. THank goodenss for my friends.. it's been good attacking and hunting in a group.

Dammit. i'm so sick and tired ot this.. it's stressful getting patients.. it's stressful looking for them, it's stressful trying to beat other ppl to get to the patients b4 they get sick of being clerked 3000 times in a day. ONe of this days, i swear i'm gonna crack. If you see a medical student testing more than just an ankle jerk with her tendon hammer another frazzled looking colleague or patient ... you'll know who it is. Grrrr.....

gosh.. my dinner time TV shows has deterioated from watchign teh news to watching neuro examinations on DVDs... AAAAARGH...

HOle in my pocket..

2008-10-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

memo to me. i need to stop making bets with ppl. esp with my mom and my fren's moms..
i seem to be losing quite a tidy sum these days.. :S

fragile

2008-10-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

That's life....sigh.

Musings over the grill...

2008-10-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

pre- bbq

Argh.. D-day. Bbq day.. watever. i've not woken up on a sunday morning with so much dread b4. I'm desperately trying to cook up an excuse to not go but i'm coming up dry coz my brain tells me that for the sake of my intern life next year, i really shld get my arse there. Ok. iceball, you can do this. it's all for the career manz. all for the career. dammit... neuro exam tomorrow and looking at my list of to -dos. there's like more than 30 items or smth unchecked... CRAP CRAP.

post bbq:

sigh.. yes. turned out to be 2 hours on public transport coz the trains were cancelled. * slap forehead*. Was feeling pretty crap coz stomach was upset ( yet again).. argh. cldn't really gorge myself on the gorgeous food, which i guess was a good thing on hindsight. didnt really feel like socialising much either, just cracked a smile or 2, cldn't really focus on the conversations ( which were mostly... What rotations are you doing?? ) and counted the minutes to when i cld get home to piah my half dead neuro revision. ( as of now, i've officially given up trying to finish revision for tomorrow's test. the list juz looks as long as it was since the beginning of the week).

my would be colleagues look like a nice bunch of ppl.. ah well. it's nice to know that more than 90% of my colleagues will be my classmates. familiar faces in a stressful env is always a good thing to have.

feeling a bit bleah at the mmt. It's been 3 years since we've last had a reasonalbe conversation. There were moments that just brought back some rather uncomfortable memories of past banters. lotsa awkward silence between exchanging pleasantries, forced laughter and just this inexplicable absurdity of how little 2 ppl have to say to each other when once they couldn't shut up to save their lives.

*shrug* . it's just kinda .... sad, is probably the best word to describe it.

Dr. Klutz..

2008-10-08T01:44:00.000-07:00

hmmm.... from the patient simulation session, i've come to conclude that the only thing i seem to be good at is going blank, tripping over the IV lines, messing up the drug trolley and potentially nearly killing the poor 'patient" ( if not for the other students).

argh... how to start working like that???!!

forgive me if i'm very short on the fuse these days. the combination of PMS, stress, lack of sleep, crammed as hell days, increasing realisation of my incompetency and inability to study effectively w/o dozing off from exhaustion is juz driving me up the wall. ie.. like HH used to say: acopia is the diagnosis.. :D

Pppffft... nontheless, i'm alive. yay. nuff whinging. back to work.

on the lighter note.. i suppose it's good to be back at base. have a nice GMed team with a consultant who's keen to teach med studnets. nice reg and nice interns. bedside tutorials are back in vogue, thank goodness. relieved to finally get support from the school after being away from base for ages and ages. down side is the paucity of english speaking patients. walking round and round for hours looking 4 cases is frustrating esp when yo'ure so short on time between classes and ward work .

p.s. who's going for the mallory weiss cocktail thingy? funny they decided to hold the dinner after all that talk that it was cancelled.

Gaaaahh!!!

2008-10-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

This song is sooo cheery it was like instant mood levitation for me, i get a real high when i play it.:). It saved my arse when i was feeling down and stressed out today.. but now i think i need to hide my guitar away for the time being: C"mon... PUt the guitar down iceball! like NOW! either that or my housemates are gonna come and throw my instrument out of the window for excessive noise pollution. lOL

Happy Birthday Baby bro :). - love from big da jie

All the gals are PMSing. it's a bit scarey. I think we all need to invest in evening primrose oil.

And unbelievably, i actually decided to concoct my own recipe today.
DR Jane gave me some lemons that she got from her neighbour ( the lemon tree in their yard when bonkers and produced a surplus of fruit). i was kinda scratching my heade what to do with them.. like eat them? juice them? bounce them? use them as tennis balls?

so i added them to chicken

honey and lemon chicken
( this serves 4 gal size portions)

cut chicken into small pieces
marinate in the
1) juice of one lemon
2) 2 spoonfuls of honey
3) salt / chicken satl
4) black pepper
5) italian herbs
6) a spoonful plus of soy sauce

Other ingredients:
1) mushrooms
2) garlic and ginger ( chopped)
3) ground nuts
4) margerine + a dab of olive oil

marinade the chicken for about half an hour.

Heat up the margarine and a dash of olive oil in a pan, stir fry the garlic and ginger for a while, then hadd the mushrooms,

add the chicken.. ( it'll be better if you just add the hcicken pieces w/o the marinade sauce so that it can get slightly brown. )

add the nuts when the chicken is mostly cooked.
add the sauce.
add salt to taste.

bingo.. i dunno wat you wanna call the dish. takes about 1/2 hour to cook, didn't drive me up the wall like the crumbed pork did. whew.

Gp Land

2008-10-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

I usually get up at about 5.50am for my run in the morning. woke up one day and there were 2 hotair balloons floating above the opp flagstaff gardens in front of a gorgeous sunrise.. sorry for the terrible photography. the balloons actually move pretty fast! so by the time i fumbled and clicked. they were quite far off.

Anyway.. it was my last day at Deepdene Gp clinic. Gonna miss the people there awfully! I nominated the practise for best practice award coz i felt that all the GPs were incredibly accomodating and very kind to me. Dr. Jane Sklovsky and Dr. Jane Crowe ( Argh! she didn't come today , so didn't get to take a photo of her!) are both were my favourite GP teachers. they're both super nice and super enthusiastic and invovled me actively in every consult and gave me opporutnities to see my own patiens and practically run the whole consult from start to finish. Never once did i feel like a wallflower when i sat in with them.. The other doctors were all really nice to me too! Dr. Tran was hinting that if i ever did GP registrar training that i shld pop back in with them. lol :D. glad to know he still trust me tho' i give him the crappiestanswers a med studnet could ever give.

The patients are lovely too.. even with ust 5 weeks there.. i've seen a couple of them a few times and it's nice when they actually recognise me as a familiar face. haha.

gonna miss the practise staff too as well. Bought them some banana bread from brumby's and did cards for my GP teachers. I had to add $1 to Jane's envelope coz i lost a bet with her on the natural hx of Graves disease. she was highly amused. Ah well, will see her at graduation anyway since her son is my classmate.

Deepdene Surgery Corridor
The photo a bit blur.. the patient who was kind enough to take it for us had shakey hands. LOL. Back row: ( L to R) Dr. Luan Tran, Sue, me,
Sue,Front ( L to R) : Jackie, Dr. Jane Sklovsky.
From left to right ( Dr. Luan Tran, Dr. Jane Sklovsky, Me, Jackie, Sue )

Deepdene surgery ( it's the one at the corner next to the post office).

OMg.. 5 weeks from exams.. * panic panic panic!!!*

you never know what you'd find next in the mailbox

2008-09-29T03:57:00.000-07:00

why anyone would put a freaking used condom in a mailbox is beyond me...

The Mammogram

2008-09-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

More about the mammogram!

i got this from my GP supervisor hee hee

This is an xray that has its own name becasue no oneactually wants to say the word BREASTS.

mammograms require your breast to do gymnastics. if you have extremely agile breasts, you shoudl do fine. Most breasts howevere, pretty much hang around doing nothing in particular, so they are woefully unprepared.

But you can prepare for a mammogram right at home using these simple exercises:

1) refrigerate 2 bookends overnight. lay one of them breasts ( either will do) between teh bookends and smash the bookends 2gether aws hard as you can. repeat 3 times daily

2) locate a pasta maker or old wringer washer. feed the breast into teh machine and start cranking. repeat twice

3) ( advanced). situate yourself comfortably on your side on teh garage floor. place one of your breasts snugly behind the rear tyre of the family vans. When you give the signal, hubby will gently ease the van into reverse. Hold for 5 seconds..repeat on other side

wow.. it makes mastectomies sound like a walk in the park( operative removal of teh breast).

Anyway... other thing is a couple of ppl have been asking if my new song Girl in the corner was written for someone.. ( mmm hmmmm.. like a childhood sweetheart i've been pining for secretly for the past 20 years of my life or smth). Sorry to disappoint , but it's actually one of my 2 songs ( not counting the ones written for Soracco) that was not written with anyone in mind. (

heheh.. so NOpe, no juvenile fantasy about some cute baby boy in diapers whom i'm still drooling over. In fact if ppl ask me what inspired the song, i would reply: Diabetes Type II. or more specifically, the macrovascular complications of diabetes. ANd if you ask how the hell Peripheral vascular disease and diabetic ulcers can inspire such a whimsical song, the answer is i've a warped , distractable brain that got freakin bored with studying the never ending pile of notes ( curse myself for not organising them in year 4) on this omnipresent disease which every patient seems to have. The chorus was actually a variation of a tune i wrote one year ago but i hated, so i changed the lyrics and variated the melody. And then plopped it into cold storage. then i decided on a story line, so i wrote the first verse, and then plopped it back into cold storage. And then one fine saturday afternoon, Diabetes mellitus inspired the rest!

mmmm.. studying cardiac arrythmias next. wonder if another song might arise.... LOL. probably another sweet romantic one.. i mean, there are so many lead ins just from the topic itself:

You made my heart skip a beat!!! ( ectopic heart beats)

And then made it stop !! ( complete heart block and asystole)

And then you had to give me a shock! ( Cardiac defibrillation)

And i've got a bleeding heart ... ( coz overdose on warfarin -- which is a blood thinner, after commencing treatment for atrial fibrillation)

My heart achees for youuuuuuuuuu ( Acute myocardial infarction aka heart attack)

and before i get too lame ( coz of peripheral vascular disease). i'd better leave it as that.

TURPs

2008-09-14T02:44:00.000-07:00

i swear.. i'm going mad studying med... lol.

Oh Mr C was feeling quite irate
coz his pants was down and he was up on the bed.
while the doctor had one finger up his arse
and was having a feel of his large prostate

Oh this gland, was the bane of his life
It was even more irritating than breaking out in hives
It had enlarged and blocked off his tract
So the urine could not flow and started to collect

his bladder had swelled to an enormous size
" oh , " he cried. " I don' twanna be alive"
So the surgeon whipped up his carving knife
And tunneled out the prostate to a reasonalbe size

zzzzzz

2008-09-12T03:36:00.000-07:00

Freaking exhausted and i'm hardly getting any mugging done! starting to freak out.
GP land is tiring coz you're in the practise 9-6pm with hardly a break in between, by the time you get home, it's sometimes 7-8 pm, prepare dinnner, eat , wash up, sit down at my desk and just plonk face down in my books and zzzzz. If information entered the neurons by osmosis., i'd be a walking Harrisons textbook of med by now. Unforutantely, it doesn't, and the only thing i achieved of the wanna-be study session was an unsightly dent on my cheek/ forehead where the highlighter ( which didn't get out of the way in time) was embedded in my subcutaneous tissue. so off to bed i go, next morning.. 6.15am, alarm goes.. drag myself out for my daily morning run, breakkie and then sprint for the tram, rinse and repeat.
didn't hit me how tired i was until aiai kept asking me the same qn twice about the food i was chucking in the microwave and i juz stared blankly at her.
GP practise is variable. The doctors at the practise where i'm at are very nice. Tho i think i exasperated one by my lack of intelligence...." what are they teaching you guys??!!!"
get to see my own patients when there's a room available. it's been good getting the opprotunity to discuss management with patients, explain investigation results, give vaccines, syringe ears, examine patients under supervision ( argh! my techniques ar still so bad!!!) , take histories supervised.. I"ve doen a couple of health assessments on my own too, which were excellent chances for me to practise my deterioating full blown examination of all the bodily systems.
and my GP supervisor ( who happens to be my classmat'es mom) is super nice, she called to arragne a suitable long case for me. the patient had a chronic condition and was more than happy to have me rock up to her house to interview her. she was incredibly knowledgable for a layman and ended up giving me education about her condition and talking me through her xrays..

other than that.. yah, brain dead.. ppppuffff..
the count down is going!!! 8 more weeks. EEEK??!!!

Parody of GIrl in the corner

2008-09-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

this started out with Aug's suggestion and then it became a full blown parody...( which is an unfortunate trait some Soracco musicians seem to possess).

but i must say that this parody totally reflects the state i was in this weekend... LOL

Diabetes vs music
verse
Studying diabetes, is not cringe free
SHe sat at her desk, drinking lemon tea
trying her darnest not to fall asleep,
but the medical book nearly made her weep
coz all the chapters she had to read
was superduper extra- thick....
she was so bored...
but she couldn't well afford to sleep

CHorus
coz I'm juz the girl studying med,
but my focus is so bad
my brain's started playing out a whole new line
it's telling me to get creative
trash the crap about diabetes
and start writing...yes start writing rhymes

and yes. i did finish studying the chapter on diabetes in the end. Promise.

The Girl in the corner

2008-09-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

New song :P. feels good to have finished it, i don't think i've churned out any works for about a year alreadi to date. had one jazz motif i was messing around with but had to stop because i didn't have a piano here. I think this is the longest time i 've ever taken to write a songsimply coz it wasn't written for any particular person. I started with the chorus, left it aside. one week and a half weeks went by b4 i managed to squeeze out a story line and the first verse. At first i thot i was gonna just throw it into deep freeze till inspiration struck again, but yesterday, i got bored studying Diabetes ( who doesn't?) and brought out my stress busting guitar. 1/2 hour later, i had 2 more verses and bridge and had to admit defeat to Aug who predicted that i would finish the song by next week. :D

The Girl in the Corner

D A
THey've known each other since they were kids
Bm G
Spent their whole time playing games of make believe
D A
He alway's watched out for her at school
Bm G
Where they tried break every single rule
D A
But innocent years fade away
Bm G
She felt a change of feelings here to stay
D
She was in love
A C
But she couldn't bring herself to say

Chorus
D
I'm just the girl in the corner
A
Waiting for the chance encounter
Bm G
when you start to see me in a whole new light
Bm
wanna tell you boy that you're the one
A
Oh the words are on the tip of my tongue
E
but they don't come out
G A D A
they don't come out right
Bm G A
They don’t’ come out right

So as the simple days of childhood end
They drifted away with their groups of frens
She would watch him from afar
As he played his records in his car
He never paid her much attention
Had a few girlfriends in quick succession
Oh how she longed to walk to him and say

Chorus:

Many years past since they last parted
Brand new chapters, they both started
She wrote songs on her guitar, tried to sell them while she played at bars
He worked day and night at the hospital
While she tried to reach impossible dreams
And as she did,
She wrote a song for him

Chorus

Bridge:
Bm A E
Then one lonely night, he walked into a pub
Bm A E Bm
Tired and jaded with life, he ordered his drink, and sat apart from the crowd
Bm A E
And then he saw her on the stage,

E
With tears in her eyes
G
And a quivering voice
Gm7/ F A
She looked at him and sang.

Chorus (2)
D
I'm just the girl in the corner
A
Waiting for the chance encounter
Bm G
when you start to see me in a whole new light
Bm
wanna tell you boy that you're the one
A
Oh the words are on the tip of my tongue
E G
but they don't come out , they don’t come out right
Bm A E
Oh… until tonight
Gm7/ F
I wanna tell you boy
D
I love you.

What a team

2008-09-05T04:18:00.000-07:00

Friday morning ward rounds ( thurs night was our take night) so we had quite a number of new patients. I printed out the ward list and was astounded to see that our half page list had ballooned into 2 pages. Oh boy. and we had one hour to roundb4 Mr C and Dr. DL bounded off to theatre.

"SHarlene?!!! You missed my DR. HOuse moment last night!!!" Dr DL said triumphantly when he came to the desk. I had left the ED around 10pm after our last patient. Must have missed one more referaal that came in after that.

" I solved a probl that stumped the ID reg. " He grinned. Apparently a patient had a really rare side effect from a drug that was sending the med reg into a frenzy and DL managed to diagnose it. Small wonder why DL was feeling so accomplished. LOL. THere is always a never ending battle for supremacy between physicans and surgeons in every hospital. So far, i had to admit that DL did pick up quite a few things missed by med regs. The other triumph was picking a pneumothorax that was totally missed on the whole weekend. As we stood there puzzling over the patient who was still gasping for breath. DL examined him, pointed out a flail segment to me, and then pulled up the xray b4 jabbing the apical region with his finger. " That's the problem." He declared. "What the hell were they thinking the whole weekend."

Anyway,today we started off at a manageable pace, with me jotting down notes as DL assessed the patients. "

Then Mr C came.
" GOod morning Sharlene!" he greeted me as I looked up from the file that i was furiously scribbling in. I resisted the urge to start stretching my calfs to prepare for the rest of teh ward round.

We headed up to one ward where we had one of patients post car accident. As we neared the bed, our mouths fell open at the sight that met our eyes. THe patient's head was abosultely mummfied with one enormous bandage. He looked like the Ghost of Xmas Past, you know with the hug bandage round the head to prevent the jaw from dropping.

" did he hurt his head?" Mr C looked aghast.

" Erm. no, " DL exchanged glances with me. " He had a laceration. SHarlene stitched him up last night."

I shot Mr C. a weak grin, hoping that he knew i wasn't responsiblt for the mummification. An overenthusiastic nurse took over the wound dressing after i had finished with the stitching.

"My goodness, you look like you have mumps!" Mr C. exclaimed.
THe patient murmered smth intelligible.

"HUH?"

" It's hard to talk, " he said in a muffled voice.

" PLan: bandage down today." NC whispered to me.

Mr C. had disappeared with DL when NC and I looked up. I fled to the nurses station, dumped the file and hurried to join the rest of teh team who were entering teh stairwell.
It was amazing how rapidly Mr C cld move for his age. ONe moment he was chatting with DL, the next blink of an eye, he was gone ... 3 floors down. I thot i washaving hallucinations. Blink and you miss it.

" See you guys in ED!" Mr C totally vanished from teh stairwell. DL was having a better time keepign up with his long lanky legs... NC and I weren't doing as well with our short and stumpy lower limbs.
Huffing and puffing, we managed to regroup outside the ED where Mr C was staring at the long neck turtles in the hosptial pond.

" See that turtle?" he pointed out the forlorn looking creature that was perched on a rock , it's long neck held in hyperextension. " You reckon its lonely, Sharlene?"

HUh?? talk about randomness..

" I think his mates are in the pond," I said, feeling rather bemused.

We whizzed through the ED cubicles, Mr C. quesitoning patients, examining them and giving orders in rapid sucession. NC and I fumbled for teh files, trying to listen in and look at the examinations at the same time. " Sticker please!" Mr C would say at the end of the short consult. Admidst a flurry of notes/ hands / pens and ward sheets, NC miraculoulsy managed to have a sticker ready when he asked for it.

" What a team!" Mr C. said, pleased... Then he zzipped off towards the stairwell, the rest of the team hot on his heels. after puffing up 5 flights of stairs, NCand I realised tat the 2 dude were going to OT. *rolls eyes*. they could have at least told us.

" Let's go down to ED again, " NC panted.. " I didn't catch everything he said. did you ?"

" We'll combine notes. Should cover." I suggested. " Just have to call DL if we missed out anything. NOw did you remember whether he wanted an U/S or CT for this patient???"

1 and half hours later, we managed to finish the pile of admissions/ notes/ drug charts and managed to secure on CT slot for one our patients after bargaining with the skeptical looking radiologist. Just in time for me to run off to catch my train back to melbourne.

such was the friday morning ward round.. Whew. really shoudl have done my calfstretches b4 hand.

Taken out...

2008-09-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

aiai and me are hooked to this new show called Taken out. It's this speed dating game where some guy stands in front of 26 gals. And he reveals more about his self ( not physically, unforutnately , argh. these guys have pretty hot bods.. so waaaasted). but after each spiel, the gals vote whether they wanna stay in or out of the game. so it starts off with just looks, they vote, then the guy talks about himself, they vote; then his ex gf talks about him, they vote; and finally his best mate talks about him. and then after that , the guy goes around choosing 3 gals out of those left and picks teh one he wants to take on a date.

So aiai and me will sit there passing comments.. the gal chio or not, the guy hot or not. We were pretty agitated today coz we thot the guy was a really good catch and 23 out of 26 gals turned him down in round 2!!!???? i was just laughing inwardly at our indignation.

the guy wasn't totally goodlooking but he was attractive in a mature sort of way. seemed like a stable guy with a good job and not too wild. but as aiai pointed out, most of the gals on teh show were there for a fling.. and wanted the bad, party boys. I really can't get it in my mind why anyone would date a person if they are not looking for long term partnership. Mebbe for the sex, but then again there's the Friends with benefits category.... ah well, cultural clash.

p.s. Aiai always complains i torture her by only watching the SBS news during dinnertime.. so i guess i'm improving abit in terms of entertainment choice.LOL.

Farewell Geelong.. Farewell surg 4!

2008-08-29T06:04:00.001-07:00

Kitchen at our hostel Kitchenr house

our common room. the ventilation is awful. everytime someone cooks, you end up smelling like their dinner
My group mates n I on the ward ( wy, me, Jon and wendy)
in the medical store room
Scrubs.. i swear.. i can't find one that fits me. and those pants are awful.. drawstring and I can never find a pair that fits. i keep fearing that one fine day they'll just fall right off me in the middle of the OT

I bade Geelong farewell for the last time yesterday.. ah.. sleepy geelong city by the sea. I've spent quite a few blocks there. It's such a gorgeous place, lovely hospital, friendly staff.

Despite my complains about the lack of bedside teaching arranged for us as semester 12s in the surgical rotation, i had a wonderful time with my surgical team 4 ( which i was attached to one year ago as well). Same consultant ( mr C), different regs and interns.

I had such a wonderful time with them.

Mr C is a 50 odd year old surgeon who's the director of registrar training in geelong. I used to be pretty intimidated by him in semester 8, but later found that he was pretty keen on teaching and welcomed us in his clinic and his OT. He had a really unsual quirky sense of humour, and an attention span of 15 seconds. It was pretty cool that he still remembered me. and he would greet me jovially as i crept late into his OT ( he knows i hate surgery hahaha) . It's nice to have a consultant who actually knows the lowly medical student's name and treats her like part of his team. With a feeling of deja vu, i watched him grill the new semester 8 student, remembering what it was like 2 years ago. ( i still don't know the answers haha).

Also VEry very grateful to the 2 different registrars' i worked under: Dr. DL and Dr. SN.

I only spent one week with Dr. SN, but she was absolutely lovely and was so keen to teach us. ( unfortunately a series of E- admission prevented that tute from materialising).

Dr. DL was awesome as well! At first i thought he was one weird dude ( Julia agreed with me when she was crashed our ward rounds) who looked really really sleepy and ket yawning in the OT. But he gave excellent bedside tutes to my group and was happy to listen to my long case presentations. He always agreed to have me tag along on call nights in the ED, which i found was an invaluable learning experience . And he would bother to give me a call on my h/p when he thought that a procedure was of interest to me, and actually waited for me to chiong up to the wards b4 carrying it out.

And then the interns Dr. AC and Dr. NM.

Very grateful to them for showing me the ropesand giving me tips how to survive next year. Dr. NM has the loveliest manner wtih patients! I wanna be like her next time :P. I find i 'm really awkward when breaking bad news or comforting patients. SHe 's just such a natural. And she was really nice to us students too.. always willing to discuss teh patients with us and happy to let me present cases to her. I found her a great companion in OT ( coz we both hated scrubbing in and preferred to sit at the side hehehhe) Dr AC was very very patient with me, showing me the nitty gritty stuff and the tricks of teh trade on bargaining for CTs n imaging.. haha and i really admire her efficiency and the way she juggled all her jobs.

We had extremley good case admissions on thurs. And there was one patient whom i got to do and see quite a few procedures on, the poor possum. Bad for him, but good for me as a learning opporutnity. The patients under our care have been absolutely wonderful. willing to talk to me, let me practise examining them and volunterring to be subjects for our bedside tutes ..

THurs was a mad rush, I felt very accomplished, managed to present and clear all my accumulated long cases, removed sutures i put in ( which i promised Dr DL i'd take down the day b4 but totally 4got), take blood, rush to theatre, got bored in there and gave the sem 8 studnet a mini tute on breast lumps ( and realised how much i'd 4gotten), chiong for team audit, ran clinics, attend 2 tutes and in teh midst of it all, go take photos :P ( see above) . was about to go home, but was persuaded by Dr. NM into staying back to do a last call with Dr. DL . unfortuatnley (for me, not Dr DL) there was only one patient. So not much action, but it was an interesting case none the less.. " It's a diasater!!" dr. DL groaned. The patient left all teh doctors scratchign their heads. THe ED reg asked me if i knew wat was going on ( and he asked me pretty seriously, not in the mocking the clueless med student manner). I was like.. ERM.. if you don't know , why in the world would i know??? Brain was pretty dead , Dr. DL kept asking me blood results values during the discussion with the radiologist and i was standing there going.. " bleah.. erm.. can't recall" :S.. hope as an intern i 'll be able to buck up with the numerals. I really need Wy's amazing brain.

So anyway. i'm back in melb. for good for the rest of year. I'll really miss Surg 4, the patients and the lovely city of geelong.. Onwards to GP land next! Dont' have that high hopes for GP land, but we'll see how it goes.

Neck extension....

2008-08-25T05:38:00.001-07:00

Damn exhausted. can't seem to focus on my book. argh. dunno how i'm gonna cope reading up post work when i'm a doctor.

busy day on the wards. one of my patients had issues over the weekend... So the day was spent trying to sort them out. and they juz kept going on and on and on and on...

so at the end of the day, he who looked like a giant pin cushion with tubes/ drains/ lines / cathethers coming from every direction. I think i had my share of needling him quite a fair bit from the moment he walked through the ED.
poor fella.. :(. hope he improves. he's had such a rough time today. it was really one needle after another... one doctor after another.

but quite a fufilling day for me... :P Have a real nice reg who's happy to have me hanging around and a really nice intern too..

an amusing thing to note was that i didn't notice my reg's new hair cut till like 8pm today ( when a nurse complimented him on it). I was puzzling over my lack of observation power ( which seems to spread to my medical work) when it dawned on me later that the reason was simply coz he'was terribly tall. me being on the other end of the height spectrum meant that i ended up spending 80% of the time actually talking to his tie ( which is more at eye level for me) . Hence, tho i did mention to him that that was the first time i noticed he was not wearing a sweater this past 4 weeks, i didn't notice that he was wearing his crwoning glory in a new style.
LOL. the woes of teh vertically challenged. memo to me, if i need to suck up to my superiors in the future and compliment them on a new hairstyle. Regardless of how tall they are, that extra neck extension is probably worth doing at least once a day :).

last week in geelong.. aaaaargh.. i still no nothing about surg.. * freaks out*

Why you shoudln't sit on your biscuits.

2008-08-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

Argh... i sat on my biscuit crackers or smth on the train ride from geelong. Dismayed, I pulled the miseralbe looking pieces out of my grocery bag and contemplated whether i shoudl toss them out.

SO i decided to cook cracker-pork chops to use up the crumbs.

Recipe: crackers with pork chop

Beat one egg
Add a dallop of cornflour into the beaten egg
Sautee thinly sliced pork chops with cornflour/ darksauce/ light sauce/ black pepper and seasem oil
Break up crackers into teensy pieces.. you can add bread crumbs n some pine nuts to the mix
Heat up oil in a pan. can choose to deep fry or pan fry ( the more oil you use, the crispier it is)
dip the pork chops into the egg, then into teh crackers
fry it until teh pork chops are cooked. you've gotta turn the heat down to medium, so that the cracker pieces don't chaota b4 the pork is cooked.
pat dry with paper towel ( unless you wanna clog up your arteries)'

jiat lat. coz i had to cook 4 portions. By the time i got to the the last batch, i was damn xian. I don't understand how ppl can like cooking. it's like xian ji puah lor. stand there and stare at the pork chops with oil spattering everywhere, and wat a mess.. cracker bits, sauce, egg ... Yuck.
aiai pointed out that baking was fun. i have to disagree.. so much to wash up! thinking of the mess is enough to stop me from even pulling out the ingredients.
now the whole house smells of pork chops and crackers ( according to aiai, i'm still having remnatns of my flu, so my nose is totally blocked)

thankfully the dish came out right, the last time i cooked it, it was all soggy.
Well, i'm sure not going to be cooking this particular dish anytime soon.. unless i sit on my crackers again.

Marie Digby - Spell

2008-08-22T07:32:00.000-07:00

Sister's recommandation. Beautiful song.. hmmm, i'm into these emo accoustic songs these days.. LOL

another one from Marie Digby

and of course, the inevitable Hor SAN!!

photos...

2008-08-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

This was a little teashop that was recommanded by RedHotcold turkey. Surprisingly we've never known about this place b4, and always undertook at 1 hour plus journey to the far flung dandenongs mountain ranges when we had a scone craving. This place was called Doll house on the MOunt. It was a teashop cum doll museum. Not very impressive interior, unlike Miss Marple's ( at dandenongs), but the scones were really one of a kind. They make 'em fresh to order! Aiai and I had cheese scones ( on the left) and choc chip scones ( on the right). the cheese ones were much nicer... Had' em with hot chocolate...

Today was Ai's bday!! Happy bday gal!! We headed out with pj for drinks. wandered around the city looking for a decent looking pub. The first 2 we checked out where rambucuous, choke full of happy high ppl and had really loud music. Then we chanced upon a nice pleasant looking bar /restaurant next to Max brenner's in QV. nice ambiance, with piped in jazz music, reasonalbe prices for drinks and great service :P okok.. all the waiters were old men, but ours had a great sense of humour and a moustach ( with twirley ends) to match.
He kept teasing us that we didn't have guys among us to foot the bills. When we got ready to pay the bill, he ribbed us " Hey, where's your guy fren? he's supposed to make his appearnace right now! Next time you gals must have a plan.. And your guy fren will sit right here " ( he pointed to the empty chair at our table) " and the bill will sit right here. " ( he placed our bill in front of teh chair)

our drinks! My mocktail is the red one. It was one of teh better ones i've drunk . We had a lemon tart which we demolished in 5 min flat ( hence the lack of photos). Really good ! just right, not too sweet, quite creamy and hwith a great tasting biscuit base

in and out of the kitchen...

2008-08-17T01:56:00.000-07:00

Red hot turkey used to laugh at how i cook... bascially i devise and plan my cooking and my cooking schedule so that i can be in and out of the kitchen as fast as possible.

Don't ask me why i hate cooking. I know i have 2 x chromosomes.. i've got one X in my name as well. probalby have a mutated gene for culinary inclinations.

As a result, most of my dishes ar mostly sauteed and chuck in the oven, require little washing up and probably allow the cook to be and out of the kitchen in 1/2 hour.

So anyway.. since my hao Er Zi in my corny dysfnxal family is going down under soon, here are some quick fix receipes from your mummy :), or you can also get some from Su-mei Jie jie.., she'll probably have better ones that i do.
no gurentee they work hor!

roasted chicken/ pork ribs: ( for about 6 -8 pieces)
add 1 tablesppon honey
2- 2 1/2 tablespn of oyster sauce
Black pepper ( just agar)
For chicken ( add a tablesppon of mustard seeds)
for pork ( ( don't add mustard seeds! add cornflour to tenderise.. one teaspoon will do)
if you want a bit more colour, add dark sauce

Massage the chook/ pork... leave to season for at least 1/2 hour. longer the better, i generally do half a day in the fridge

or you can try aiai's recipe: ha chong gai ( prawn paste) and massage the chicken with it.. fast and easy

Set oven to 250degrees.. chuck the food in. Collect in 20-25 min or when you smell it burn. ( see how char ta you want it to be)

Cooking rice w/o having to scrub ricepot:
Fill rice pot with water to about 3 -4 cm.
Put porcelein bowl with rice and water ( IN THE BOWL)
Place bowl in rice cooker
Viola!
if not, you can always put the bowl in a pot of boiling water ( 3-4 cm of water) and cover.. same thing, jus don't leave too long or you'll have burnt rice.

Salmon and wasabi:
Slice salmon thinly
marinade in generaous squeeze of wasabi sauce and mushroom flavoured soya sauce.
add black pepper
( add a dwab of honey if you like too)
stick it in the oven/ toaster for 15 min
or you can pan fry it in butter if you 're feeling like clogging arteries

Baked Blue Grenediar ( think that's how you spell it) - chinese style
chopp up garlic, and mushrooms ( ang moh ones)
put fish on aluminum foil
spread sambal balachan ( get teh glory brand) on it.. pour soya sauce and seseme oil over
place garlic and mushrooms on top till fish is covered.. can add spring onions ( chopped also)
place in oven toaster/ oven for 15 min.

stirfries:
Chicken or pork: season with the usual mix of soya sauce ( light/ dark), seseme oil/ oyster sauce
chop onion/ pepper plant, fry with a little oil
Add the chicken.. can add cashew nuts.. and a little chilli to taste

Curry:
get the green curry paste... saves you a load of trouble
add the paste into pot , add chicken
pour coconut milk in.
add egg plant
can add a bit of sugar/ fish sauce/ tamarind powder to taste

Salads
boil pasta.
Chop up mushroom/ zuchunnni/ carrots/ cherry tomatoes
Wash spinach leaves ( as in the salad kind)
add the vegies to the boiling water for a short while
Pour everything out into a bowl, add pesto sauce and a dolap of philedelphia cream cheese. add pine nuts and italian herbs and olive oil if you want.
can be served with chicken sausage ( juz chuck in oven) or with ham and fried egg/

Seafood marinara
Buy seafood mix or buy scallops/ shelled prawns/ sotong
Cut and fry onions and garlic
add seafood
add oyster sauce and copious amoutns of black pepper
add a bit of cornflour and water ( water first)
can be eaten with pasta or rice.

i think when i used to be a bit more adventurous i did like cracker dipped chicken/ sweet and sour pork/ thai chili/

Gravity - Sarah B.

2008-08-15T20:06:00.001-07:00

another Sarah B. song.. don't have the actual MTV. but this one has the lyrics. Super nice.
very simple, understated song. but very moving

Fairy tale Sarah Bareilles

2008-08-10T04:05:00.000-07:00

i love her style

Our TV profiles

2008-08-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

We 'res supposed to submit profiles for our year book group page. our group came up with the idea of comparing ourselves to TV screen Doctors.. here's wat me, S. and Matt came up with so far. I wrote most of mine and wy's lol.. but the classic 'horizontal" quote was coined by matt.. brillianT!

S = izzie from grey's anatomy

Like Izzie, S. can be a bit of a battler. Melodramatic at the best of times, she is prone to emotional outbursts that match> the magnitude of our> small-screen star. Salso uses baking as a> therapeutic outlet. She has yet to cut anyone's LVAD wire, and will run like the wind if spotted by men in lycra.

Sharlene - Elliot from scrubs.

Like Elliot, Sharlene is prone to getting panic attacks when asked questions on the wards, and has the habit of putting her foot in her mouth ( which she probably can do literally, as she did gymnastics). Sharlene, however, is unable to sneeze with her eyes open. She shares Elliot's obsessive compulsiveness, and never seems to have the right time, because her watch is always set 15 min fast ( or so she thinks). During her free time, she enjoys annoying people with her tuneless warbling and guitar twanging. She is rumoured to possess an "in depth" understanding of the male mind, as hinted by her warped sense of humour and ability to relish certain tasteless jokes.

WY - Like Cristina from Grey's anatomy, WY is an aspiring surgeon who is meticulous, methodical and extremely focused. However, WY can deviate from character on occasion, and can be so laid back that she's horizontal, literally. She is prone to day time somnolence,especially in RAPP classes( but then again who isn't). She has mastered the ability to snooze unconspicuously under the nose of various tutors. Like Cristina, WY's room can at times look as though 3 hurricanes just went through it. She is also adversed to anything touchy-feely and has the potential to smash the 100 m sprint record if anyone tries to give her a hug.

why radiologist like to work in the dark

2008-08-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

In radiology class:

" do not talk in this class. I don't care if you snore.. I don't care if you have loud racuous sex at teh back of the LT. I just get bothered if ppl talk, coz it's rude. .. now have a look at these xrays on the screen. Is it too bright? Will someone please do some foreplay with the light switch please"

Now i know why radiologist prefer to work in the dark....
SO DIRTY MINDED!!!

what goes on in Theatres

2008-07-30T02:33:00.000-07:00

The radio blares
" walk like an egyptian". my consultant starts walking like one to the music ( complete with bobbing head and hands) .

we raised our eyebrows behind our surgical masks

The song changes a missy higgins one. Me and the scrub nurse start singing. The intern tries not to giggle

Mambo number 5 comes on the air. .
the consultant and scrub nurse start dancing. The registrar looks totally bemused from her uncomfy position of holding 2 oversized metal retractors.

All this occurs over the exposed big juicy intestines of our patient

The consultant finally wrests free the large tanlge mass of pus and small bowel free..
We all stared in awe at the mass as it sailed through the air towards the scrub nurse, who caught it deftly in the dish.. then our gaze sank onto the little spurty artery that was having a real happy tmie squirting everyone within it's range..
It got a good aim at the consultant and covered him quite generously b4 he managed to quell it with a clamp.

Hmmm... seemd a little surreal.

gosh it feels weird to be the most most senior in med school. see all the year 4 s coming in , all fresh and excited and we all just smile inwardly. Being senior does come with some perks.. getting access cards and codes makes life on the wards just that tiny bit simpler. knowing the drug names and being able to write in patient notes , learning to make referals, write medical charts and understand the medico-speak ( most of it anyway) allows us to slowly inch from our favourite pasttime of being part of "shifting dullness" on ward rounds to someone a little more fxnal. it's a good feeling knowing that we'll be fxnal soon ( and paid). but at the same time, i feel frightened.. frightened by my lack of knowledge, knwoing that i'll be responsible for the patients next tiem, that there 'll be no intern to countersign my drug charts/ prompt me about the stuff i missed out when writing notes/ to help me if i miss an IV... oh boy! ..

urgh. contract is still in melb. need-to- sign it.. asap.

ENd of the holidays..

2008-07-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

dad's bday.. i'm actually on the computer screen ( via skype). haha.. too bad cake can't be transported via computer screens yet.

"OH wow!! Now what didya know ... A golf club!!! :D"

Supporting our bro in his quest to get chiobus.. i mean.. to swim.

(sitting with the aunties, but still a raffles gal at heart) .. GO RAFFLES!! TRASH 'em AC pplz ( sorry thow :D)

Chek Jawa, P. UBin : the boardwalk

Jo's hungry.. REALLY HUNGRY.. i can't recall wat the fruit is call.. any idea?

Top of the tower at Chek jawa

looking down at the ground from the tower.. i 'm pleased with this photo, but jo think's its accidental good photograph . *pout*

I need COCONUTS

Dig in!

up on the boardwalk!!
uz! self shot
ok.. gave up on self shots

JO and i went to P. Ubin. Lovely day, not too hot. We rented bikes and the nice nice bike uncle told us to stop by chek jawa. Didn't know it was opened to public from teh p. ubin side ( previously you arrived on boat at a seperate jettY). We found our way there, parked out bikes outside the gate and went in. It was lovely! we trudged rnd the coast line on the built up boardwalk. unfortunately it was high tide..so didn't say anythign interesting ( the guys at the info desk begged to differ.. they thot they viewing them 4 guys posing was more than worth the trip to chek jawa * faint*) .. we walked past the mangroove swamp, keeping our eyes peeled for mudskippers but spotting none. Finally clambered up the tower for a bird's eye view..

THen we headed back to the town for lunch and coconuts mmmmmm... along the way, spotted lotsa ppl cycling with durians piled in their baskets hanging on the bikes. J0 and I try to look for durian trees but found none along the aptly named Jalan Durian.. Argh.. but to think of it, i woulnd' treally want a surprise descent from the torny fruit upon my head even tho 'i was craving for one.

BF Youth leaders retreat

I was impressed by the presentations done by the new leaders. Keep up the work! :D.. Mission statement: Living in the Present moment!

We ended up at Rasa sentosa resort.. :D haha playing some card game Audrey concocted. After copious rounds of ribena ( the forfeit) there was a beeline for the toilet. gosh. i must say that i've missed quite a lot of chalets when i was in sec school/JC.. oh well, better late than never.

Apprehensive yet sorta looking forward to this semester. last semester as a medical student... *cross fingers* hopefully.

Boom di ana!

2008-07-20T20:19:00.000-07:00

haha. we saw this when were watching batman. damn funny and cute. i think quite a few of us cldn't resist and by the end were going Booom di Ana Boom di ana... ( add the bob of head!)

Reflections

2008-07-08T20:37:00.001-07:00

The mirror has 2 faces

I scream you scream...

2008-07-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

We cldn't get a seat at the crowded restaurant at CSC.. the wait was 45 min. Wat do i do with 45 min? Hmm.

" Foosball!" my bro bounced up and down excitedly.

FOosball?

He led us to the bowling alley where a family was having a very calm and peaceful game of foosball. Well, mebbe becasue one player was a toddler who was having tons of fun just swinging the little plastic football players back and forth while his 5 year old kid brother totally trashed him .

We split into the 2 teams. My sister and i agreed that the 2 boys in the family could NOT be on the same team, or we'd might as well go floss our teeth and declare it a walk over. So I paired up with my bro, and my sister with my parents.

Now.. mebbe it's because our non-dominant parietal cortex ain't as developed or we have slower neuronal transmission.. but females generally have poorer viso-spatial perception, slower hand eyed coordination.. so how do we compensate?

bingo: we scream

and scream and scream.

maybe it's an evolutionary advantage: the skill of distraction... mebbe?

me and aiai peered into Ki's room where the gal was absorbed in a pacman game on her computer.

" Oooo! Pacman!"
It was game i used to play in the arcades of the SIA sports club as a child. Pop in the token and watch as your little round pacman moved around and chomped up dots.. and tried to avoid getting eaten by those jelly fish like looking monsters. Somehow, even as a 23 year old, i still loved the game * sheepish smile*

Now mind you, Ki was doing quite well at the game b4 me and ai walked in. why? because we started screaming..

" AAAAAAAAA" i shrieked as the pacman got chased by the Jelly-man.
" EEEEEE!!!!" ai screamed as mr Pacman had another close call.
Utterly thrown off by our shrieks, the bemused Ki started screaming as well.

So the poor hapless pacman ran his gauntlet accompanied by the banshee like chorus of 3 female voices and met his fate.. in the mouth of a waiting jelly man.

And we met ours by getting smacked by the exasperated Ki.

ok. so maybe it doesn't always work to our advantage.

I recall many a basketball game in RGS, which deterioated quickly into a scream fest. Some of us just grasped the ball , stood there and did lung exercise while 3 gals advanced menacingly towards you. Which is on the hindsight, a real stupid thing to do, coz you're wide open. should have thrown the darn ball away.
Then what follows is a tangle of gals on the ground wrestling for the ball and screaming ( of course) while the teacher blew at her referee's whistle till she was blue in the face.
We escaped with broken glasses, bruises and sore throats. THe worst case scenerio was a broken finger. no sweat.

Or how about in RJC? with our hand ball sessions? THe handball court was conveniently situated next to the canteen. A row of boys would gather to watch us gals as we tried our darnest to score goals during our PE classes. They used to laugh uprouriously as we shrieked and shrieked ( and kept missing the ball). To add to the mockery of the situation, the stupid ball was a bright pink plastic ball. Nope! not a shred of dignitiy was afforded to us. Not a single shred!

anyway.. screaming wasn't really the way to go in foosball. I must say that it's quite amazing how the guys play. My brother and my dad easily guided the tiny ball back and forth.. while my mom, sister and I took ages to place the figurines properly and get a shot. ( and most of the time, we ended up doing own goals) .

but don't worry, we're good at what we do. Come on gals, on the count of 3:

"AAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhh!! "

Can't get you out of my head...

2008-07-04T17:19:00.000-07:00

i had a melody today,
it didn't ask if it could stay
now it wants to come and share my bed
Well at first it was ok,
but as it never goes away
It drives me insane
I almost wish I were dead!
I can't get the melody out of my head! ---
The Real Group " I sing you Sing"

My brother came bouncing into the room.

"Big Da jie can you teach me the guitar?"

" why? to score the chicks ah?"

" No lah.. we're getting lessons in school"

" Oh ummm..OK. if you get me the rocklea road from the fridge I'll consider"

" Noooo.."

sigh, my little brother is getting a bit too old to be bullied into fetching me my chocolate.

" Fine.what do you wanna learn?"

My brother started strumming a G chord and singing..

" I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail.. "

huh? what kind of stupid song is that?

I ran a quick check with the official Encyclopedia of songs: aug, who happened to be online at that time, bingo: The song was called El Condor Pasa.

so it wasn't some random lyrics that my dad concocted ( he was singing the same thing just mmts ago, while i chuckled to myself ). but then again, that was after he was singing some phrase " Ra ra rasputin... da da da da da *can't recall the lyrics* " which i sworn couldn't have been an actual song, i mean who would sing about a mad holy man who lived in the 19th century?
p.s. at press time, the author has to admit that such a song did indeed exist. and was a number one hit in the 1970s. bleah

Now that i knew i wasn't being duped, i ran a quick google for the lyrics.

El Condor Pasa, by Simon and Garfunkel

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes I would, if I could,
I surely would

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes I would, if I only could,
I surely wouldAway,

I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound
Its saddest sound

I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would, if I could,
I surely would
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

" Dan.. don't you think Rocklea road will be nice??? "
my sister joined in too.
" Yah.. Dan you look especially nice today, but i think if you hold the Rocklea road you'd look nicer."

he rolled his eyes at us. Sigh, failed attempt no. 2

We got stuck at the Chorus. No idea how to sing it. I tried to youtube the song but youtube happily commited hari kari and hanged itself. Sigh.. bo pian. bring in the big guns --- the guy in the family who knew the most tunes/ lyrics/ songs. ( and if he doesn't, he 'll make 'em up)

" PAPA!!!!"

Papa came into the room and started singing the song. NOw it is a pretty BAD idea to start singing infectious songs at 10pm at night. because guess what?? you can't get them out of your head. I should have learnt my lesson from one week ago when I listened to Mozart's Magic Flute Queen of the night Aria. It proceeded to put itself on a rerun in my mind as I tried desperately to fall asleep. The next morning, as i brushed my teeth, i was still haunted by the ubiquitious soprano's shrill voice my head. Now whoever said " it ain't over till the fat lady sings" was wrong.. Damn wrong

So we all started singing the song at 10pm at night with me strumming the guitar.
half an hour later, even after i'd finish teaching my brother " leaving on a jetplane" on the guitar,
I still had the song in my head.

" i'd rather be a hippo than a whale... " I sang as I shut down my computer.

" Why'd you rather be a hippo ?? " my sister pointed out. " If you're gonna be big, you might as well be hell of a big!!"

fine fine. i'll be the Loch Ness monster.

I switched off the lights and climbed into bed.

after about 10 min, i was relieved that the song had decided to go AWOL. i sighed contentedly and shut my eyes...
and then... the silence was interuppted by my sister singing ---

" I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail... "

NOooooooooooooo!!!!

Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra Ra Rasputin,
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on - Rasputin by Boney M

seriously. Who writes these songs???

Snapshots from Melbourne

2008-07-04T17:10:00.000-07:00

Argh.. still jet lagging away and wide awake at 6am!!! anyway. managed to get pix off my phone..

(left) View through the window of my little room in Geelong. Brilliant blue skies and the beach! It makes a gorgeous jogging route.

(right). View from my window in Melbourne. I awoke that morning and it was just so misty!! could barely see the park opposite!

OSCE practise session : take 3. As you can tell, we were really focused. J9's gigantic Scully! Mikey is posing at the back.. geeez.
Dick the Snake
Dick the snake trying to get some lunch

and back in spore...

2008-07-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

I'm back in sunny Singapore... and down with conjunctivitis. Sigh. unbelievable. And i always thought the Sx were more localised. no one mentioned the prodrome. so pretty much starting my vacation juz staying at home squeezing eyedrops into both my orbits and sleeeeeping away.
well, on the upside. it is relaxing. i feel like a hibernating pig.

So many changes in the last 6 months. I cldn't really find my bearings in Orchard MRT where i met Mew for lunch. Even in my neighbourhood, shops have opened or closed. Driving to the doctors...I was horrified by the mess ( the whole carpark was uprooted due to upgrading)
And yah, even my car had been been subjected to twacking from an unintentional reverse by the neighbours and had undergone rehab too.

Balek kampung?

2008-07-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

Exams are finally over.. 2nd last exams we;ll sit as student.. *gasp*
the osces weren't as random as we thought it would be. Darn.. screwed one of the stations quite badly. but wat the hell. i think as the years go by, you get more bo chap about OSCes coz it's really luck and your state of mind on that day izzit and whehter you get the qn or not.

haha.. i just tossed out all my pre-clinics notes. they've been sitting at the bottom of my cupboard and i figured i've harldy touched them during clinics and i probably never will. amazing how many trees i killed in pre-clinics.. goodness. all into the recycling bin they go...

see you guys in spore.. *hopefully* if i can get on board tonight..

Adhimutta

2008-06-29T02:53:00.000-07:00

During the Dhamma talk today at BSV, Aya read out Poems from the The Theragatha today ( verses from the elder monks) to inspire us with the stories and struggles of the monks who reached Arahanthood

To me, this was the most inspirational.. i really moved by Ven Adhimutta's words.

I cut off some of the verses coz it's quite long, so posted here is just Ven Adhimutta's reply to the Bandits. the gist of the story is that Ven Adhimutta met with some Bandits who wanted to rob and kill him. But his reply to the Bandits moved them so much that they gave up their wrongful livelihood and some of them became ordained as monks. His reply reflects his understanding of the impermanence of our physical forms, his release from attachment and craving and his deep compassion for all living beings ( esp reflected in his last verse... " Do as you like with this carcass. From that I will feel neither hatred nor love. " ).

Thag 16.1
Adhimutta
Adhimutta and the Bandits

Ven. Adhimutta:]

There are no painful mental states, chieftain,
in one without longing.
In one whose fetters are ended,
all fears are overcome.
With the ending of [craving]
the guide to becoming,
when phenomena are seen
for what they are,
then just as in the laying down of a burden,
there's no fear in death.

I've lived well the holy life,
well-developed the path.
Death holds no fear for me.
It's like the end of a disease.

I've lived well the holy life,
well-developed the path,
seen states of becoming
as devoid of allure,
like poison spit out
after it's drunk.

One gone to the far shore
without clinging
without effluent
his task completed,
welcomes the ending of life,
as if freed from a place of execution.
Having attained the supreme Rightness,
unconcerned with all the world,
as if released from a burning house,
he doesn't sorrow at death.

Whatever's compounded,
wherever a state of becoming's obtained,
all that has no one in charge:
so says the Great Seer.
Whoever discerns this,
as taught by the Awakened One,
would no more grasp hold of any state of becoming
than he would a hot iron ball.
I have no 'I was,'
no 'I will be.'
Fabrications will simply go out of existence.
What's to lament there in that?
For one who sees, as it actually is,
the pure arising of phenomena,
the pure seriality of fabrications,
there's no fear.
When seeing the world with discernment
as on a par with grass & twigs,
finding no 'mine-ness,'
thinking, 'There's nothing of mine,'
he feels no sorrow.
Dissatisfied with this carcass,
I'm unconcerned with becoming.
This body will break up
and there will not be another.
Do as you like with this carcass.
From that I will feel
neither hatred nor love.

The poems are pretty beautiful and very insightful. i found a website collating them. ( i think diff versions exist tho', coz this version i found is slightly different to the one Ayaa read out)

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/thag/index.html

I managed to chant the metta sutta today ( in English) w/o looking at the text ( but with guidence frm Aya). The amazing thing is that for the first time i managed to focus on the meaning behind the text and to think about it. I was filled with gratefulness to the Buddha for discovering and teaching it to us.... so much to put into practise! i've got a looooong way to go manz..

like Dr. Wong said:

knowing but not practising the DHamma is like walking into a treasure cave but leaving empty handed.

What the....

2008-06-28T04:22:00.000-07:00

I was telling j9 that i was talking to my cousin from NYC.

" CUte or not???" j9's eyes lit up

" Not bad lah," I said. " But he's one year younger ah."

Her face fell.

Then suddenly Nic piped in.

" Is he short or not?" *snigger*

It took me one full minute to register the hidden implication before i started strangling him.

Wah PIANG!!!

That perfect little dress

2008-06-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

SHopping with j9 today.. i couldn't resist and picked up a pair of shoes from i-rivers. Well, ok. my feet cldn't resist. The moment I sank my feet into them, i knew that those shoes were going to come walking home with me. it was unbelievably comfy..perfect for walking round and round teh wards and standing for endless minutes in the operating theatres and it still looked pretty decent.. most comfy shoes just defy the laws written by fashion police.

And then i spotted a dress at portmans..
Argh. perfect.. 20 bux only. When i put it on and paraded for j9 to judge.. both of us agreed that it was gorgeous. BUT THEN... I spotted the tear.

CRAP.

it wasn't the type that was amenable to stitching. ( i liked it so much i was actually wiling to buy it and sew it)

Sigh.. had to put it back.. so sad. :(. it's like that PERFect Dress that you've been searching for and found and then.. *bing* the penny drops.. you still can't have it.

ah well. have to wait till i earn enough moo lah, then i'll step into CUE and get myself an outfit. the dresses are gorgeous, but it's so freaking ex... for now, just for now.. J9 and i have no choice but to see but no touch.

And where are we up to?

2008-06-25T22:36:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, exams are neigh. Nothing interesting happening other then me invading the dining table with aiai with our books and just chao piaing to the best of our abilites.. Main written over today ( yippeee) , one osce and it's homeward bound for a short break for me!

ok. and the other impt thing.. I GOT TIX FOR WICKED!! whoo hoo.. hopefully can catch a flight back in time to watch it. lol. heng sia nic and I went to book the tix today after the exam. , coz it's almost sold out for the days we wanted.

Quotable quotes:

" Candidates are reminded that the consumption of aromatous and noisy food is strictly forbidden" - our invigilator.

haha.. reminds of the time when i was in sem one, the examiner said " you can begin writing" and the dude next to me started unwrapping and tucking in tho his Burger king hamburger.. What the... Food took up half the space on his desk. lol

I"m gonna miss the postgrads in our small group. Sl and Szc realy brightened up my days by tickling me pink with their smart ass remarks and jokes. :P really had a good time in geelong with K, Sl and Szc. Oh well.. one more paper.. one more paper.. hmmm, i think i'm gonna go shop tomorrow anyway.. LOLz

Chinos..

2008-06-25T22:29:00.001-07:00

Mom: this was the song that was sung at the opening sequence of the movie Home Song Stories.. :P

Just click on the Play button

K was super nice to give me the copy of his David Tao CD that he played in his car on the way back from Geelong.. it's been playing on my cd player, and it started me hunting for my old David tao Songs..

this is one of my favourite: Er Shi Er

and this is so cute!

ok.. i'm getting a bit chinos.. how weird.

SKype me..I"m am your father...

2008-06-20T23:42:00.000-07:00

My dad's skype nickname reads:

" SKype me, it is your destinY"

THanks to the webcam and skype, i'm now able to celebrate bdays with my family :P even playing the guitar to accompany the singing of happy birthday from thousands of miles away from spore and even joining them for family photos ( no idea if my gritty image on the LCD screen is gonna come out ). But alas since teleportation has not been invented, i had to watch 'em eat the birthday cake. lol.. ah well, one day perhaps.

HAPPY BDAY DAD and JO!

Auld Lang Syne

2008-06-19T03:45:00.000-07:00

i first heard this version in Scotland, when i was on the highlands tour.her voice really stuck in my head... it's so pure and beautiful.

heard it again in SATC movie.

When you're vertically challenged

2008-06-18T04:21:00.000-07:00

" I need to demonstrate the hallpike maneuovre" -- the geriatrician said.

Immediately, everyone's gazed automatically fell onto the centre of the room, where i was conveneiently situated.

crap.

" Let's have the lightweight," the geriatrician gestured to the examination couch.

Sigh, juz coz i'm the shortest. Life's not fair. i clambered onto the couch.

He demonstrated the movmenets, flipping me deftly down on the couch so that my head hung over the edge as i looked to the left. Such a weird test.. goodness. it was uncomfortable. i can't imagine little old ladies with osteoarthritis in their c-spine gettnig this done.

" and now for the apley's test."

uh oh.

He rotated my head to the right, flipped me down, then while i was horizontal, rotated my head to the left, made me rotate my body so i was now staring at his feet and then sit up while my head was looking left. well, each mvt is suppose to incite vertigo in a patient with BPPV. but seriously, even w/o bppv, it was like getting in a merry tangle. but i can see why he chose to use the most vertically challenged in the room. less of a tangle.

Another incident that reminded me of my height ( or lack there of) was when i was walking towards Szc's car with him. For some weird reason, we started walking real fast. i think it was coz he's stride lenght was so large, i had to take 2 steps to keep up (szc super duper tall, in case you're wondering about his height). But everytime i hurried up, he thought i was in a hurry, and so walked even faster. so the result was we were both festinating faster than a patient with parkinson's disease who had no brakes on board.

After we had sorted the speeding problem out and walking at a more humane pace ( in my point of view), I breathlessly pointed out to him that it was quite usual of me to have to walk faster to keep up with my frens ( who are all blesseed with longer legs)

" well, at least you dno't have to worry about back problems," he told me. " or your legs sticking out the end of the bed " ( he has that problem in our accomodations in geelong)

ah well.. i agree. but i think my neck is getting sore from having to look up during the conversations.

ahh.. the woes of being on either end of the scale.

Of interviews and rounding up students

2008-06-13T04:36:00.001-07:00

In case you're wondering why i'm having verbal diarrhoea.. some a backblogs.. ie. written in MSword and just cut and pasted coz i've no internet access in my room in geelong. plus.. i'm freakin bored studying for exams. so there.

Just had job interveiws yesterday. first time ever for me going for an interview in a long long time

All of us were dressed in suits... hanging around teh clinical school. It seemed so surreal. Felt like yesterday I was watching PS asnd HH go through this ( last year) and now i was in their shoes.

We watched amused as our dean WB came scuttling into the room and herded the year 5 out of the common area like little sheep. Unsatisfied with her handiwork, she disappeared into our locker room and we heard her muffled voice " Shoo! any more semseter 9' in here??? Shoo!! go for you lecture.. on the double!' .. followed by frazzled looking year 5s trickling out of the locker room, with WB hot on their heesl. She paused at the doorway and gave us knowing smile, and then strode off after the last gal who was just disappearing down the corridor in a panic.

Nervous as we were, the sight of WB herding our juniors out with a determined look on her face sent us into peals of laughter. It's hard not to like WB in a quirky sort of way. She would show up with a wooden stick during our revision lectures and smack the OHP screen realhard with it when we cldn't answer the questions.. it had the vibes of primary school lessons written all over it. But we all ended up laughing, coz it was just way too comical. And i recall during our internship talk, the semster 9s were making a ruckus in the LT next door. WB, in all her glory, rose from her seat, walked to the front of the LT and banged with her fist on the dividing false board wall.. " QUIET!! " - she yelled, and suddenly, the there was obediant silence. She then calmly walked back to her seat ( in front of all the senior doctors, us and our classmates from other clinical schools, who looked absolutely appalled). ahh well.. there we have it. tha'ts Dr. WB for you ;)

ANyway, the sight of her was rather comforting in a way. Cause although she wasn't doing our interviews, WB was the gateway to our future employment at Vinnies.

I jumped up as my name was called and followed my classmate M to our seats outside the interview room. I was pretty jittery. ALthough i knew there was always a job waiting for me in spore... i was just jittery.

" Sharlene"

The guy standing in the doorway called my name and I sprang to my feet. He stuck out his hand and introduced himself as the HR manager. I numbly shook it and followed him in .

Both him and some old surgeon started the interogation. Oh ok, it wasn't too bad. Pretty standard questions. what challenges did i anticipate, how would i deal with the stress.. and then. What did i wnna do when i grew up.

erm... i dunno??? Physician? Onco? pallaitve??

" So, how do you intend to get past your surgical postings?" the surgeon asked with a wry smile

Took me a while to figure he wasn't joking.

" erm. well, i admit i spent more time in the wards than in the OT in my last positing," i said. ( crap.. wat the hell, where did that come from)

" erm. but i understand it's important in my training and will undertake it with due enthusiasm" i finished.. gosh. i hate interviews. you juz bascially sprout model answers. But you've got to balance it with a touch of realism too, so they know you'r enot bullshitting.

then one behavrioural qn and i was set free...

wasn't as nerve racking as i thought it would be. ah well, now to try and figure how to cram my notes in my head. Still feeling pretty crap and drained from a horried weekend n my complaining upper GIT and other random bits.

Quotes of the week

2008-06-12T04:36:00.000-07:00

Scz: " why did i want to be a doctor? Well, you see, 4 years ago, i broke my 5th metacarpal ( bone in the hand), i saw my GP, who referred me to an hand surgeon.. he just took one lookat my hand and xray and said.. ' yep, tha'ts fine just remove the splint' and then charged me ONE HUNDRED AND TEN DOLLARS! that's when i said.. 'yah.. i can do this too, just talk to ppl and charge 'em . That's when i decided to do medicine"

WY in falls clinic : " XL, do you have a sweet? i nearly fell off the examination table while falling asleep " ( how apt)

" I'll direct you this time. BUt warning: you can't turn down the volume.." -- Me to Szc on GPS alternatives. *silence * " Hmm. but then again, you could throw me out of the car."

" Sooo SSSSSLOW:" - K writing on my note pad during Falls' clinic.

" I really wanna jump in that.. " Sl on the hydrotherapy pool ( which is full of little old ladies with fractured NOFs)

" I was writing furiously in the women's exam when i stopped , looked around, and thought to myself.. this is so STUPID.ANd in that moment.... that's when i felt ...peace.. " - Szc

J9's bday!

2008-06-12T03:12:00.000-07:00

tiff, dora, j9 and bryan
THe thai place in collingwood. We were sitting on the floor cross legged.. quite authentic, but my back was aching coz i was too vertically challenged to rest my elbows on teh table.. lol. the ventilation was pretty bad tho'. with the chilli and spices in the air, almost all the patrons in the place were choking and coughing. ONe of us remarked that it was like being in a TB ward. I had to go out with j9 to get fresh air halfway through.. lol

nic, bryan and kevin

OH.. HOt buns!!!
Mmmmm
LOOK! a strand of kangkong!
bei, nic, me and the bday gal!

j9 looks super happy here :P haha.. guess coz huichen was sticking his hands all over my camera while kevin was trying to snap this shot..

Us at the thai resturant.

Green curry

FREAKIN unhealthy kangkong.. now who said veggies were healthy?

nic digging into his greens. and sweating buckets over the tomyum
A high and happy maggie clutching her bottle of wine :)

On Ageing, Sickness and Dying.

2008-06-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

On Ageing…
We attended our lessons at Alzhiemer’s Australia. Alzhiemer’s dementia is a slow onset dementia that is very prevalent in the elderly. It manifest as deterioation in memory, language function, behaviour and skills. Bascially, in a about 10 years, the person because a dependent, incoherent, incontinent person who can’t recognize himself or other loved ones anymore. My grandmother had Alzhiemers’.disease. I recall her frustrating us by repeatedly picking mushrooms sprouting in the lawn outside our apartment in Loyang Valley and insisting that we cook and eat them , despite our protests that they were poisonous. She kept repeating questions and comments, and eventually got disorientated when she came to visit us in Singapore. Then she forgot my siblings’ names. She could occasionally recall mine with some prompting, perhaps because she looked after me for some part of my childhood. Then Ah mah forgot my mom’s name and my dad’s name. And then one day when we visited her in Penang for CNY, she didn’t recognized us at all.
. From the description I recall from my childhood, she ended up with severe constipation and faecal impaction, with bloating of her abdomen. She passed away when I was 9 years old. My memories of her are fragmented, but I do recall playing with her as a child, trying to scare her with my rubber rat ( and she cheerfully obliged). She would get up at night and switch off the aircon for fear that I was cold ( and I got grumpy coz I was waaaay too used to sleeping with it full blast). She would bring me out for walks, and she gave me her ruby ring coz I was so fascinated by it. I cried when she passed on. Perhaps because out of the 3 of us kids, I had the priviledge of spending the most time with her.

Now as a 23 year old, I watched the video at AA which filmed the experiences of ppl who cared for spouses or parents with Alzhiemers. It was a pretty bleak video. With teary, exhausted carers talking about their difficulties cleaning up the excrement after their mothers, fighting to communicate with the patients and express their frustration with the sacrifices they had to make to take care of ppl who meant so much to them. We watched in horror as they showed one of the carers trying to give her mother a bath. It turned into a shouting match as her confused mother beat the daughter with a walking stick and yelled at her. The battle continued all the way from the living room to the bathroom. Later the daughter showed the cameras a roomful of excrement stains courtesy of her disorientated, demented mother. Almost all the carers cried. And a few of them admitted that there were time that they hit their mothers or felt like commiting homicide./ abuse.
I was a child when my grandma had AD. I had no idea what her carer went through to take care of her and I must say after watching that video, I take my hat off to my auntie who cared for her till the end. And I can see how some maids in Singapore are driven to commit abuse. Because it was no joke being on call 24 hours to care for a person who had no control over their bowels/ bladder. Who would get up at odd hours at night , every night and scream or be unconsoloble. The carers spent every waking moment ensuring that the patient did not get up to mischief or did not do anything dangerous ( because their judgement is impaired by the disease). The high pressures put them at high risk of depression.

On the tram home, I spoke to Wy about ageing. It’s pretty confronting watching that video and going for that session because it reminds us that we are ageing and that soon, it would be us who will be taking the place of our parents and we are likely to undergo the same stresses they faced. And I guess whether we are ready or not to face these challenges, we have to fill up those big big shoes. And it also dawned on me of the importance of having companions, children and siblings. I’d hate to grow old alone. I’ve been on a couple of home visits with nurses and each patient reminds me of that thought. Having said that, I did meet a sprightly 93 year old today who was bouncing ( literally) around quite happily and had the cognition capacity of a 20 year old ( with her extensive memory for dates).

On illness and death.
We just received news that one of our teachers , Dr. Andrew Dent, had just passed away. It was quite a shock to receive the news, because he was still actively teaching students right up to the time he died. He had been ill for some time, but we all didn’t know how serious it was. He still came to give us an enthusiastic introduction to our ED rotation and made the effort to come back and listen to our presentations altho’ he didn’t have to. He was a dedicated, enthusiastic teacher who encouraged us to participate actively in our learning process, and we all had a lovely lovely time in the ED. Although our interactions with him were short, he gave me the impression of being an astute clinician who was well respected and loved by his colleagues and students. He was awarded a medal for his contributions to society on the Queen’s Birthday. He will certainly be missed by his patients, students and colleagues.

http://www.theage.com.au/national/tributes-pour-in-for-emergency-doctor-and-his-great-legacy-20080611-2p55.html

( headlines from the article from the local paper: The Age)
Tributes pour in for emergency doctor and his great legacy
Jill Stark
June 12, 2008
TRIBUTES from around the world have been paid to one of Australia's most respected emergency doctors, who died the day after he was named in the Queen's Birthday honours.....

More reflections on death and dying

Being on the palliation ward, I also met a patient who was dying of Motor neuron disease. The disease ravaged her body like wildfire, paralyzing everything in tis path. And she was unable to speak , swollow or even move her jaw. As her daughter choked back tears, the patient lifted one weaken arm to write on the textboard “ look after her” , indicating her concern for her daughter’s welfare.
“ She’s still got quite a spirit” one of her teary friends remarked. As if testimony to that remark, the patient lifted both her middle finger, as both me and my fren suppressed amused smiles at sight of a 70 odd year old lady telling everyone to F off. Then she pointed at our doctor and wrote “ John travolta “ on the white board and did a little jerky movement of her upper limbs ( indicating that she wanted him to dance for her). The thought of having the director of palliative care in the region dancing Saturday night fever for us made everyone in the room dissolve into hapless laughter. Some of the patient I’ve met on the palliative care ward truly have an admirable spirit in the face of impending death. And humour, as well as a little Saturday night fever, sometimes does help lift the bleakness of it all.

In this last 2 weeks, it really drives home the realization that Buddha had when he saw the 3 signs of Ageing, illness and death and the teachings he wants all of us to carry with us… To live in the present moment, and be thankful for the little blessing we have, the people around us and not to cling on to things in this world… because everything is subject to change and impermance. So treasure every moment that passes!