bow and arrow

I was brought up in a school environment where our motto was " if guys can do it, we can do it better." RGS girls are pretty notorious for being rather tom-boyish and not afraid to vy with our male counterparts for the crowns in various aspects of our secondary school education. As highlighted in one very touchy newspaper article written by no-other then an RGS girl herself, RGS girls are often seen as go-getters who " cheered like cave men during sports events and probably would end up single for the rest of their lives."

I got into a good natured debate this morning with my better half. His opinion was that if a girl could " do it all" , then they were more likely not to find a partner just because the poor guy would be nothing but a trophy husband. His reasoning was that finding a partner was like a bow going together with an arrow, ie, you needed to be able to work towards a common goal together, instead of one half doing it all and leaving no room for further development and growth as a couple.


I pointed out that it may have to do with the male ego and the laws of natural selection. ie... in the past, guys had to demonstrate that they could provide for the family before they were handpicked as being a worthy mate. so there's a natural drive that the guy has to prove that he is "worthy"

To a certain extent, I do grudgingly agree with his concept. A relationship that works is one that allows both people to grow and learn together. However, there is a fine line between working together and compromising on one's independence and ability to tackle difficulties as an individual w/o over-reliance on one's partner. And it shoudln't come to a point where we end up suppressing our drive and personality just to appease the unfairer sex. So where do we draw the line?

Being in a r/ship is about giving, or like Ajahn Brahm says: about loving unconditionally. It's probably not so much about feeling needed, but more like wanting to do things for your other half just because you want to make things easier or better for them.

Well, as much as the bow and arrow concept may stand, I still think my notion of the need for male superiority still holds its own as well, as so nicely summed up by another acquiantence ( who has a Y chromosome) . " We guys like to feel needed. We like being used. " he quipped. I don't think us females have any issues with being occasional pampered pooches and damels in distress, as long as we still retain our skill to work and problem solve independently.

So the long and short answer? I don't really have a conclusion. I think it's middle ground. We've gotta have the drive to achieve whatever we know we are capable of achieving, but not to go overboard. Because I guess pushing yourself to the absolute , crazy limit may not be the best thing or compatible with a nice healthy stress-free lifestyle. Live some room for that dude to intervene and take some of the load off you.. esp if he's more than happy to do it!
Now.... how do I go about changing the tyres of my car??? * looks around for ef*